Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted. Your wish summons a shooting star that will collide directly with the Earth in an hour and annihilate all humanity, unless some unexpected hero appears and manages to save us somehow in the nick of time.

I wish for an unlikely hero to appear and save us all from being obliterated by LPChip's doom star (not to be confused with LPChip's 100th star ©)

Granted, but the unlikely hero is Donald Trump.

I wish the Stardew Valley mod I use that hasn't updated to the latest release of the game would update, without the content changing in any negative way.

Granted! But it added MTX.

I wish my headache would go away.

Granted. The headache has been replaced with an itch. An itch inside your head that you cannot scratch but itches really badly. Its actually far worse than the headache.


I wish it was Summer at the location where I am currently.

Granted, the whole Earth suddenly jolts violently to position your part of the world for summer. The sudden, unprecedented movement of the planet causes a spate of natural disasters including (but not necessarily limited to) global earthquakes, super-volcanic eruptions and supersonic windstorms, colossal flooding, dust accreting in the atmosphere blotting out the sun... You may not have caused the extinction of life on Earth, but you gave it a pretty good shot.


I wish for a nice cup of tea.

Granted! It's a really nice cup of tea! Looks great, smells great. Tastes terrible.

I wish it would stop snowing here.

Pick yer poison:


I wish I had better musical taste.

Granted. Your newfound love of classical music alienates your friends.

I wish my PMs would get answered more quickly.

I wish SecretGlitch made Dark Sea III, but had it be about as difficult as the tutorial world, just to throw everyone off.

Granted. He makes the level, and its a good one too. In fact, its so good, it becomes the #1 level to play. It beats all other great levels by a long mile and everyone talks about this level for decades for being the best level out there. As a result SecretGlitch is very demoralized for having put out a joke level that becomes the best thing ever that they delete all their other levels and never make a level again.


I wish I could create a time bubble around me. Once I create such bubble, time within the bubble goes much slower such that I have a lot more time for stuff to do.

Done. You become sort of addicted to calm inside your time bubble and you spend here so much time that your life outside fells apart.

I wish my cat stopped scratching both couch and my legs.

Granted: your cat transforms into a hairbrush.

I wish my country had a competent government.

Granted. They solve all your country's problems in five years. Without real problems, people vote in some populist who promises fresh doughnuts to everyone and then destroys everything previous government achieved in a year.

I wish I was able to draw simple yet elegant and condensed tilesets.

Granted. They're the best 4x4 tilesets anyone's ever seen.

I wish there were AI-generated Knytt Stories levels (and good ones!)

Granted! There are thousands of new, innovative, and fun KS levels made possible by AI! They're all too complex to be perceived by the human eye.

I wish my new medicine didn't make me so tired and hungry.