Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted. He's not on fire anymore. I'm sure he's learned his lesson.

I wish .

Granted. You get , but it turns into  and then  and  and then it  you.

I wish there was still left some cheese in the fridge.

Granted; your fridge is full of DVDs of awful movies.
Ya know, like... really cheesy movies?

I wish I could meet with friends on my birthday.

Granted. You have an enthralling conversation with them through an undocumented tech support chatroom on an old Windows utility.

I wish Gustav would "return the favour in another adventure" for rescuing his daughter already.

Granted, but he really doesn't work well as a custom character.

(Now I really wish someone tried how that would look like).

I wish all the people who made posts on this forum about their big unfinished levels, posted loads of promising screenshots and then disappeared, returned and released their levels or at least all the custom content they already made.

Granted. The unfinished levels are so amazing in their current form that no-one would dare try to make proper endings for them. Consequently, making levels that end abruptly without any satisfying conclusion becomes the new level design trend. Within a decade or so we've all forgotten how to actually put endings on levels. Perhaps this extends beyond just leaving levels unfini

I wish I could focus on things that matter more often.

Granted; you are constantly noticing your breathing and blinking, all the time, for the rest of your life.

I wish for one of those magic sci-fi ovens where you put in food and it is instantly cooked to perfection.

Granted. People constantly invite themselves to you for dinner and some act very rude when you tell them off. You can never ever eat in peace because everyone is so curious about the magic oven.

I wish I haven't stepped into the puddle of liquid manure when I went for a walk today.

Granted. You didn't go for a walk.

I wish apples didn't hurt my teeth.

Granted. Every time an apple gets within twenty feet of you, it collapses into a burst of radiation. Many people get radiation poisoning. Your teeth are fine.

I wish the people making a game I've been playing recently would finish my favourite character's arc and release it in an update within the next month, and that it would be good, and nothing would prevent me from playing it, and the rest of the production wouldn't degrade as a result, and that the production of everything else in the game would continue at an uninterrupted pace.

Granted. It's great! And it's the longest arc yet. To ensure you're not prevented from playing it, you're held captive in a padlocked cell with nothing but a chair, a piss bottle, and your computer, until you beat the arc.

I wish the orphanage got enough money to stay in business, the peppy small-town boxer beat the world champ, and the guy got the girl & killed the baddies.

Granted. The orphanage got enough money to stay in business, the peppy small-town boxer beat the world champ, and the guy got the girl & killed the baddies - in the movie. In reality, orphanage is closed and orphans are forced into child labour, small town boxer is beaten by world champion so badly, he's disabled for life and the guy found out that the girl was not worthy of killing 20 people.

I wish I was not so indecisive and prone to procrastination.

Granted. You talk to the genie and he gives you valuable advise: Say no to everything. This is so irresistible that you cannot say yes to anything anymore.

You ask yourself, shall I finish that project, but its an instant no. So all your projects are scrapped, nothing on the queue anymore. Nothing new is added either and you become bored, but don't feel up to do anything anyway.


I wish I could do things twice as fast as I currently can without losing any energy in the process whenever I please to do so (and use regular speed when I want too). So, twice as fast thinking, twice as fast typing, twice as fast walking/running, etc...

Granted. But you are also changed into a chinchilla. You are the quickest chinchilla in the world, you lucky, lucky chinchilla, you.

I wish for a friend who enjoys walking, and who I can therefore go walking with... erm, once lockdown eases.

Granted! It's me. I'm a terrible friend.

I wish my surgery goes well on Tuesday.