Corrupt-a-Wish

(That sounds rough. Hope it all works out.)
Granted; the entire job moves to your area instead, including all the other employees. Unfortunately it doesn't work out and you quit after a few weeks. All the people who uprooted their lives to move so you could join their company are now mad at you.


I wish I could get by on less sleep, like I could five years ago.

Me too

Granted. You now need one less attosecond of sleep.

I wish I could eat more ramen without feeling guilty.

Granted, you became allergic to some component of ramen that is common in loads of other foods. Can't feel guilty after eating it if you can't eat it at all.

I wish I haven't lost keys from my office.

(The job itself is fine so far, being away from my home, family, cat (which is not actually mine but likes to cuddle anyway) and garden is not.)

Granted. You lost your office instead. Which is annoying, 'cus it seemed pretty unreasonable of them to ask you to take the whole thing home with you.

I wish I could remotely cause the phones of people playing music or videos out loud on trains to spontaneously stop working until they disembark from the train, with the only requirement being that I can hear the music/video, without having to touch or even see the offending phone.

Granted! It's an amazing power and I make it so you don't get a curse. However it backfires on me and my phone no longer has data and I can only use Wi-Fi.

I wish my guy would get into a PhD program not too far from where I live, because I don't want to have to move to a different state with him.

Granted. You are now transient, anywhere will be not far from where you "live".

I wish it would stop raining already.

Granted. The water is going upwards now so it can't be really called rain. Everything is still wet though.

I wish people who smoke somewhere where it's banned would immediatelly turn into a pile of anti smoking leaflets.

Granted. Annoyingly it doesn't work on vapes, and breathing their secondhand smoke also causes you to turn into a pile of anti-smoking leaflets.

I wish I had the courage to travel alone to Vienna for my friend's wedding.

Granted! You become courageous and you go and have fun. Unfortunately the couple divorces after four months after the husband one of the brides purchases a pet alligator.

I wish my friend would break up with his unfriendly girlfriend of ten years who he clearly doesn't enjoy anymore.

Granted but when you hear the news you get distracted and stub your toe.

I wish I didn't have a headache.

I'll take the stubbed toe deal.

Granted, unfortunately your favorite beverage is no longer being sold.

I wish I could have a pleasant and productive two weeks while my guy is backpacking in Switzerland with his dad.

Granted, but at the end of the two weeks you get news that your boyfriend has been run over by a lorry and will be stuck in a Swiss hospital for the next four months (sorry).

I wish for a book of easy, tasty recipes.

Granted! The book is written in Kalašma.

I wish I hadn't forgotten to was my duvet when I did the rest of my stuff.

Granted, the washer and dryer are now overloaded and you end up with half-wet clothing.

I wish horror novels were less gothic and flowery and written in the more straightforward, factual style that I like.

Granted. All your cooking books are gothic and flowery now so good luck trying to figure out how to cook anything.

I wish the heatwave already ended. It's been more than 2 weeks, damn it.

Granted. It is now January; you've been in a coma for the last 5 months.

I wish Discord hadn't basically destroyed message boards like Nifforum.