Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted! Your classes are: Watching Paint Dry, Learning To Tolerate Grody Men Being Leches, and A Practical Study Of Awful Smells.

I wish I had bought a new wifi dongle for my PC months ago instead of putting up with the old one's nonsense until now.

Granted; the one you would buy few months ago would be defective and just as bad as the old one.

I wish I didn't drop the last pistachio I had and it didn't fall behind the wardrobe.

Granted, it fell into your mouth and then you choked for a bit but saved your own life by doing the Heimlich maneuver on yourself with a chair.

I wish my boyfriend would make me more food.

Granted, he will now make you scrambled eggs on toast whenever you want.

I wish to be able to find a backpack I really like available to buy.

Granted. You find a really nice backpack that has everything you need. It's even available to purchase! Costs 1000000000 €.

I wish I had more snacks.

Granted. You now have one more peanut, potato crisp, cookie or whatever you've been snacking on lately.

I wish trains run on time.