Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted! Someone quickly does your laundry for you. They are now your live-in laundry doer and you have almost no privacy.

I wish my nails grew way more slowly so I wouldn't have to cut them so often.

Granted. It also means that if you damage your nails somehow it takes forever to heal.

I wish there was some good cheese in my fridge.

Granted! Delicious cheese is in your fridge and you go to the store to get prosciutto and crackers to eat with it. In that time, the power goes out and over the next few powerless days the cheese becomes rotten. You eat it anyway and get food poisoning.

I wish I could get one of those Thai massages where they stretch your limbs for you.

Granted. Your legs are stretched so much all your pants are too short now.

I wish my life didn't feel like a game of Corrupt-a-Wish IRL right now.

Granted, your life is instead like a game of 'Could you do me a Favour?'.

(Sorry to hear things are rough; hope they get better.)

I wish for a relaxing weekend.

Granted. Because you didn't specify that your weekend be relaxing it actually came to me. Thanks!

I wish I hadn't forgotten to buy more tea yesterday.

Granted. You bought some tea but when you got home you realized it's the wrong kind of tea and you felt too embarassed to go back to the shop and maybe it was too late anyway and now you're stuck with entire box of tea you don't even like.

I wish they started making the strawberry and lemon ice lollies that were everywhere when I was little kid again and that they were widely available.

Granted. They come packaged with a bunch of other flavors in non-descript packaging. The other amazing flavors include celery, asphalt, licorice, and oatmeal double chocolate cookie with mint.

I wish the Nifflas Support Forum arcade wasn't such a hassle and pain and could exist (again) with happiness.

Granted, but you now have to pay a monthly subscription to access it, and all the games have microtransactions.

I wish I could instantly dry my hair just by wanting to.
(Also, Hi Jetio!)

Granted. You can now a hair just by wanting to but only the same one every time.

I wish for more tea.

Granted. Your home is now completely filled with loose tea leaves. Good luck digging through it.

I wish I could actually have the licorice ice lolly jetio4 come up with when corrupting my previous wish.

(I have no desire to taste the other ones so the corruption still works.)

Granted. You can have one. It's really good. But you'll never have a second.

I wish I could have as many liquorice ice lollies as I want, because honestly that does sound good.

Granted. You can have as many as you want! Unfortunately, you find out you're allergic after the first one. So you must choose life or ice lollies.

I wish there wasn't so many dirty dishes.

Granted. They all merge into one enormous dirty dish.

I wish I didn't have to move for a new job (first night at new place and I feel lonely and stressed because the job starts tomorrow).

(That sounds rough. Hope it all works out.)
Granted; the entire job moves to your area instead, including all the other employees. Unfortunately it doesn't work out and you quit after a few weeks. All the people who uprooted their lives to move so you could join their company are now mad at you.


I wish I could get by on less sleep, like I could five years ago.