Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted, Discord is now destroyed and has been replaced by a new social media. That's because Donald Trump and Elon Musk created and embodied a hybrid body, who was then elected king, and ruled that Truth Xocial is now the only way anyone can talk to each other online.

I wish the expensive grocery store wasn't the only one with the good meat counter.

Granted. It now has subpar meat, making it is no longer the only one.

I wish I didn't have to go out tomorrow.

Granted. You broke your leg in really inconvinient way and have one of those plasters that go all the way up your leg so no one can really expect you to go anywhere. You might be required to crawl out though.

I wish I started making my supper earlier because I'm very hungry but also shouldn't eat at 10 pm.

Granted, you cooked your dinner and ate it at what wider society would consider a more responsible time. You feel bad for giving way to societal and cultural pressure instead of living life the way you want to.

I wish my friend would be able to move to a cheaper area, closer to his friends, extremely soon.

Granted. He won't stop complaining about his new apartment and it gets a bit tiring after a while.

I wish for a new pair of headphones.

Granted, you get mine (Sennheiser HD 560S).
Unfortunately, they're in used condition, and you only have 24 hours before the velour starts disintegrating.
But that will be the best day of your ears' life.
Also, they're open-back, so you hear everything around you.

I wish I could do everything I need to do right now, and be done before December (too many things at once...)

Granted, you get energized with caffeine from Panera Bread's Charged Sips(tm). Unfortunately, like several people before you, the drink causes you to die of sudden heart failure.

I wish I had a nice acoustic piano instead of a digital one.

Granted. You are transformed into a piano stool, and paired with a nice piano.

I wish to be an exceptionally talented violin player.

Granted. However genie that is granting all these wishes misheard you and made you exceptionally talented viola player instead.

I wish I haven't lost my pocket knife.

Granted! An emergency medical team found one in your tummy and you have to get surgery.

I wish I was better at not taking naps and not sleeping in.

Granted; you now have complete control of when you will fall asleep and when you will wake up. However, you now need ten hours' sleep every 24 hours and if you fall behind, you go blind until you make up the difference.

I wish the roadworks along my commute would finish.

Granted. There is now roadwork in other places, forcing more traffic to your route which triples your commute time.

I wish I didn't have such a backlog to work through.

Granted, the blacklog is cleared. Unfortunately, there are now even more things to do, and they all involve physical labor.

I wish my enemies could meet moderately unfortunate fates of their own creation so I could feel triumphant.

Granted; some of your enemies actually feel fortunate and happy because they could have ended much worse, thus souring your triumph a bit.

I wish for a cupboard that would fit perfectly into my new place, was cheap, well made and easy to move because it's on the 4th floor.

Granted, there's one available at IKEA! Unfortunately, it's the evil IKEA that is featured on the SCP website.
https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3008

I wish I only had three classes instead of four this term.