Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted, but when you accidentally killed your beloved mom with a huge piano, you will regret your new powers for the rest of your miserable life.

I wish for a selfish fish like a dish.

Granted; the entire human race are transformed into aquatic dish-shaped creatures; luckily you're close to river when this happens and you manage to jump in before you suffocate in the air. Many millions of others are not so fortunate. And of course this means abandoning all of our technology and infrastructure - not least because so little of it is waterproof - as we start new lives in the seas and rivers. Also, we have to deal with all of the pollution and rubbish we've flushed into the sea, and all that runs into it as our abandoned technology rots.

Because so many of your friends died during the transformation, you make new friends in your new life. One of your new friends is really selfish.


I wish to be less of a procrastinator.

Me, too!

...I mean, granted.  You now get everything done either right when you expected, or earlier!  No deadline is too tight for you!  With this new, speedy work ethic, though, you eventually find yourself with only one thing left to finish - your own life.

I wish this 3D modeling work was less tedious.

Granted. Your boss comes to you telling you that you do not have to work on the current project anymore. He then adds that you can take today off. He then adds that you do not have to come back anymore. No more tedious 3d modelling work.


I wish it was summer already.

Your wish is granted! It's already summer. Unfortunately, summer temperatures now go no higher than ten degrees celsius. Welcome to the new Ice Age.

I wish I could bask in the satisfaction of a job well done.

Granted. Your boss is also satisfied so you becomes arrogant and egoistic and you will lose this job anyway.

I wish I was on the cover of a magazine.

Granted. You appear on the cover of a new magazine called: "World nastiest criminals exposed" Not only is this bad, people start to chase you because there's a bounty on your head now.


I wish my boss called me to tell me that due to some disaster, I can't come to work for the next 2 days and that I can have 2 days off.

due to some disaster,

Calling it a disaster kinda makes the obvious easy cop-out corruption a lot more obvious, don't you think?

Anyways, granted. Your mother, whom you've accidentally killed with a huge piano, suddenly comes back to life as a zombie due to some arbitrary side-effects your telekinesis conveniently happened to have. Because almost everyone knows what zombies are and how to kill them, and the military didn't suddenly stop being a thing that exists or anything, the resulting zombie non-apocalypse is expected to only last 2 days, and your boss calls you to inform you of that. Unfortunately, you die of whatever your preferred way to die in DayZ is immediately after he and/or she calls you.

I wish people who do the "weather forecasting stone" joke tried to do something original with it rather than just rehashing the standard set of "forecasts".

Granted: extreme weathers and disasters become a lot more common, allowing people to put volcanic eruption, meteor storm, tsunami, plague of locusts, global glaciation, terrorist attack and zombie apocalypse jokes on their boards.

I wish CWolvie was happier.

Granted. I'm going to listen to Stevie Wonder - I'm More Than Happy (I'm Satisfied) before I kill you 
(nah, I'm kidding )

I wish some people understood what is evident and clear.

Granted, however, now that more people know how futile everything really is, suicide rates go up.

I wish I wasn't an introvert.

Granted.  You are now compelled to say 'Hi!' to everyone within a thousand miles of you, and when you are done, you'll get the urge to do it again.  And again.  And again.  Have fun!

I wish there was an active and well-funded science project with the intended goal of making everyone grow to at least 8 feet (or 2.44 meters) and remain healthy.

There is, but it never gets anywhere because your proposition is impossible.

I wish for a job!

There is, but it never gets anywhere because your proposition is impossible.

Hogwash!  Nothing is impossible, when you have:

I wish for a job!

Granted!  You are now a member of the science team that is attempting to find a way to make everyone grow to at least 8 feet (or 2.44 meters) and remain healthy.  Your bickering on how it is impossible earns you the disdain of your cohorts, who subsequently leave your name off all the papers that your project publishes.  In addition, you eventually find that during one of your breaks, someone has sabotaged your microwave casserole and it is ruined.

I wish for fifty Fire Emblem games.

I wish for a job!

*cough cough* I have the same problem



Granted. Someone posted a 50 minutes long video of Fire Emblem games on youtube. It's nice, isn't it? But you can't play that.

I wish annoying pop-up ads didn't bothering me on websites. And they're moving sometimes!