Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted: your internet provider cuts off your internet for no particular reason!
(But seriously, just google whatever web browser you use and 'ad blocker'. It's really easy and will solve your woes!)


I wish a particular friend of mine would stop blaming his problems on other people when ever the problem is with himself.

Granted. Even though I did that for fun, I will no longer do that. (yes I know I am not that friend, but hey, I corrupt wishes for fun too. )

I wish that Ingress portal I submitted got accepted.

Granted, but the opposing team puts eight level 8 resonators and 4 Very Rare shields on it before you even realize it exists.

I wish the fanmade Sburb aspect "Stars" was canon. (Mainly for the sake of jokes about egomassive and LPChip being Stars players.)

Granted. However, no one understands your jokes.


I wish for next week to be better than last week! (But hey, my birthday on Tuesday so hopefully things won't be so bad.)

Granted. The week is better, but not for you. You don't have birthday, because you were not born.

I wish I was photographed outside.

Granted. You walk outside and a photographer asks if he may take your picture for a magazine. You happily respond that he may. You pose for a nice posture and right before he makes the photo, I, the genie, snap my fingers and *poof* all your clothes are gone. The photographer takes a nude picture of you, outside!

I wish I could solve every problem in a reasonably short time if I wanted to.

Granted.  You can solve any and every problem in a very reasonably short six seconds just by writing "IOU" as the answer... if you wanted to, that is. 

I wish I could make KS levels and other works by dreaming about them.

Granted. You can now make the most beautiful KS Levels (and other works, but it works the same way) while you dream. For others to play your level, they have to dream that they're playing the level too.
Of course everyone dreams that the level is different, and also, everyone regardless of the difficulty can finish it, yet no one can prove it. So in the end your level isn't really that good.


I wish they could fix the backache I have once and for all and never have it returned.

Granted.  You are now a brain floating in a pickle jar vat.  No more back problems!

I wish to finish my new flash animation this week.

Granted, you finished it, but it is not so good as you expected.

I wish I didn't have so much troubles with that previous wish.

Granted. You have exactly one less problem with that wish: LPChip is no longer a genie.

I wish the sky wasn't overcast today and that solar eclipse was perfectly visible.

Granted. The ozon layer is gone, and as such there's no shield to which clouds can form. Of course that also means there's no oxygen present. Yet you still require it. Good luck with that. But hey! the solar eclipse is perfectly visible and not obstructed. Then again, the sun's rays are not blocked by the ozon layer either, so only at the eclipse is it not so harmful. At least if you're at the part where it does the 100% one, which wasn't at your location either.


I wish I knew why my php script doesn't work the way it supposed to be.

You know, but you are unable to fix it because a small monkey has eaten your fingers.


I wish the best roleplayer in the group I'm supposed to be DMing hadn't dropped out. (Or failing that, I wish for a tactful way of telling everyone else in the group that without him, there's hardly a point in the rest of us playing because without him there no one else says much or follows the story.)

They come back, but they come back with amnesia, only knowing about you and your comrades because the doctor told them about you and your game. Their roleplay levels are very low, and they are kicked out of the game within 15 minutes.

I wish I had the ability to snap my fingers and transport to wherever I want!

Granted. Everytime you snap your fingers now, you will teleport to the exact location you're currently thinking off.

While being at a concert, listening to this awesome music you're hearing, your mind is in heaven. You enjoy it so much. Out of enjoyment, you start to snap your fingers on the rythmn of the music... but oh no.... I'm sorry, you just didn't survive that. You're now in heaven.



I wish I never had to do my taxes again, while everything still goes as it should go.