Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted. You now have really low aesthetic standards and desire that the players of your level suffer as much as possible.

I wish Talps hadn't caused me to ruin his level (which I am (was?) greatly looking forward to playing).

Granted. But you will discover soon that the level is unfinished anyway.

I wish for blueberries, banana and peach

Granted. You have a small number of blueberries forcibly inserted into your nose and ears; your skin is painted with peach acrylic paint; and you are constantly bothered by a hallucination of a small gnome by the name of "banana" (no capital, as it's trying to be as irritating as possible).

I wish that any computer I use in future (including computers within other objects, such as the many small computers within a modern car) would function perfectly, without being subject to errors, shortages of memory or CPU cycles, or malicious code.

oh man half a month with no new posts

Granted; any and all computers you'll use from now on will function perfectly with no errors whatsoever... until you actually use them. As soon as you do, they'll irreparably break for no reason.

I wish that RPG which Nifflas mentioned in this lecture-thingy was a real thing.

It's real! But because Nifflas dedicated 9 years of his life to making this RPG, he didn't make any of his other games, meaning this forum doesn't really exist and none of us know of each other.

The RPG is great, but no Knytt Stories...


I wish this forum wasn't so quiet right now.

Granted. Due to a mod I installed, suddenly every click plays an audio sound. But due to a script error, after the 3rd click, the sound gets looped and doesn't stop playing. Refreshing the page doesn't make it go away either. Only way is to leave the forum entirely until the bug is fixed. But at least the forum isn't so quiet right now.

I wish for some companionship.

I wish Freddy was in my bedroom right now.

Freddie Mercury is in your bedroom (and also alive). He sings Queen hits all through the night, which is kinda cool only you get no sleep.

I wish I hadn't pulled a muscle in my stomach by twisting and coughing.

Granted. You pulled a muscle in your stomach by coughing until you fell over.

I wish I could read, with full comprehension and internalisation, at five times the speed that I currently do, without restrictions as to what I read or how long I read for.

Granted. You read everything you were going to read in about an hour and are soon bored out of your mind.

I wish I had a 3DS!

Granted, you're now the proud owner of a Ninfendo 3DS with the smash hit "Super Dario brothers-in-law 3D"!
Also, it comes with this:


I wish to be crazy good at playing guitar.

You are both crazy and good at playing the guitar. You entertain all the other patients at the mental hospital.

I wish Facebook would quit sending me stupid emails about every status update made by people on my friends list.

Granted. Microsoft takes over Facebook and changes the name to Livebook. Now you get stupid emails from Livebook about every status update made by people on your friends list.

on a serious note, you can disable this in your preferences.


I wish motivation was a drink and that I had plenty in storage.

Granted. A slew of purple soda cans with 'MOTIVATION^TM' printed on them appear in your spare closet, but you don't exactly know how much to drink, since MOTIVATION^TM is the only word printed on the can (no Nutrition Facts, nothing). You've drunk three cans so far and you don't feel any different (you're not falling for that darn placebo effect again). As it turns out, each bottle only has about 0.0000000001% of actual, physical, motivation in it, and the rest is made out of purple soda. But hey, at least you have plenty of MOTIVATION^TM!

I wish I had a Nexus 12 with Android 5.3 Oreo on it. Even though it doesn't come out for another two/three/x year(s).

Granted, you now have a Nexus 12; sat on top of it is an android oreo, which goes to war with the humans, enslaves us all and steals all our milk.


I wish to be ambidextrous.