Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted, you never have to do your taxes. And naturally, the result of you not doing your taxes is that your arrested for not paying your taxes. So everything still goes as it should go!


I wish for there to be a Nando's restaurant in my town.

Granted, it's there but nothing else. You can't go in there, because it's too much expensive and only for VIP.

I wish publishers of books stopped stealing people's photos, editing them in Photoshop, putting them on cover of their books and then claimed that it is their own work (as fictional characters). And all this without those people's permission, of course.

Granted.  Now they just steal peoples' drawings and put those on the cover of their books instead.

I wish for nothing!

Granted. Everything disappears, including you.

I wish I owned a big bad-ass mansion with 2km square feet of ground surrounded by it, that's all mine and I can do whatever I want with it.

Granted!  Heh. Heh heh heh...



I wish everybody would make music.

Granted, they make music, but they are not able to do anything else such as eating, drinking, working, thinking, etc.

You go out for a beer with him; turns out he's not as cool in real life and you spend the whole time making small talk about the weather.

I wish my ear would stop being weird!

Granted. You are send out to a country far far away to fight in a war that does not concern you at all. As you are approaching the battlefield, the car you are in drives over a mine that explodes and the shards damage your ear to the extend that it is simply ripped off completely. As in, you lost your ear.

Given that I have no idea which ear you were talking about, on your way to the hospital, the ambulance drives over another mine which causes the same kind of explosion and shards, but this time they hit your other ear. Same thing happens... you now lost both of your ears and the ability to hear as well.

But hey, they're not weird anymore... They're simply not...hing...


I wish it wasn't raining outside, but sunny instead.

Granted. A bunch of mad scientists transferred you to the center of Sahara desert, because you can't stop complaining about the weather.

First anniversary of my former classmate's death (she died in a car accident last year) is near. I wish the accident hadn't happened.

Granted, but she retains her memory of having died in a car accident, and is traumatized for life.

I wish The World Ends With You had more Shockwave pins. (The highest-tier one isn't really all that suitable for the postgame challenges in terms of stats.)

Granted, but you instantly forget what 'The World Ends with You' and 'Shockwave pins' are making your own wish totally incomprehensible to you.


I wish I needed to only sleep for 5 hours a night to gain the benefits currently granted by a full night's sleep, without any narcoleptic or insomniac side-effects.

Granted. You convert your sleep schedule to a 5 hour sleep, 12 hour awake rotational schedule. Because of this, you are getting fired as your boss does not like the fact that sometimes these 5 hours are during office hours. You loose friends as they are not always awake when you are, and visa versa, and you get so used to this sleep system that you can't convert back to the old one either.
But on the plus side, you feel alive and kicking. You have more energy than you ever had before...

I wish I wasn't feeling so tired even though I had enough sleep last night.

Granted, but now whenever you sleep, you will never good dreams, but you will have nightmares occasionally.

I wish I had unlimited money to spend on Magic the Gathering.

Granted, you have unlimited money to play that, but in your private life you are unhappy. Your beloved ones don't want to be with you anymore as you're spending too much time and all your money on your new habit.

I wish my school days were back.

Granted, you are now a student... forever!! Mwahaha!

I wish some more of my favorite tea.