Corrupt-a-Wish

You lived in Italy; in 14th-century Italy, in fact. You died of bubonic plague at the age of six.

I wish I hadn't made this wish.

Not granted, causing several issues and paradoxes which ultimately break the game.

I wish i knew how to play custom Battery Check levels.

Granted, but you'll die before playing these amazing levels. So sad.

I wish my grandfather could finally leave the hospital.

He does, but in a hearse.

I wish I could make shadow clones.

Granted. You now own 2 working lightbulbs instead of 1.

I wish I could buy focus and motivation for a cheap price and use it whenever I need it.

He does, but in a hearse.

Ouch!


Your local pharmacy starts selling two cheap over-the-counter drugs called focus and motivation. Focus improves your focus and motivation improves your motivation! They work brilliantly and you make frequent use of them - in fact, so frequent that it's hard not to use them. It's around the time you realise you're addicted that it is discovered that prolonged use of these drugs can cause your legs to fall off.

I wish audio novels on Youtube automatically had their volume balanced with the adverts Youtube crams into them, so that I wouldn't suddenly have obnoxious advertising screaming in my ears every 10 minutes.

Granted. For some mysterious reason, every time you start watching a youtube video, your sound is gone. Not just in youtube, but everywhere on your pc. Strangely your pc doesn't say that the sound is muted. In fact, it even is the case if you just have the youtube page open, and no video playing. You then realise that its not just the sound on your pc that is gone. You find out that you hear nothing at all when you have the youtube page open. Luckily, if you close the tab youtube is on, you hear again.

I wish I could auto-generate new body parts in case they fall off due to the use of some drugs.

Granted. However, as soon as your legs are fully regenerated, you are promptly dismembered by a psychopath. Your limbs don't regenerate as they didn't fall off because of those drugs, and you'll just have to live without them.

I wish Talps had obnoxious advertising screaming in his ears every 10 minutes 

Granted. In retribution, Talps wishes for you to spontaneously combust and die in agony.

I wish StraightFlame would spontaneously combust and die in agony.
*Maniacal laughter*

Granted. Now you hear him screaming in agony every 10 minutes (that means every five minutes you have advertising or StraightFlame screaming in your ears. You eventually go crazy because of it).

I wish my wrist wasn't hurting me.

Granted. Not in that order, though; he bleeds to death from a much less (but still rather) agonizing stab wound, and his corpse spontaneously combusts after the funeral. I would say screw you, but your corruption is downright awesome.

Granted; your wrist fell of due to a side effect of a cheap motivation-boosting drug you imported from the Netherlands.

I wish there was a webcomic or web series that's basically the premise of Sword Art Online done with a game like DayZ. Preferrably without the former's romantic subplot.

First of, LOL. Good conversation here between the lines in this game. Love it!

Granted. Your wrists are still in pain, but luckily for you, I've given you a serious headache. Because our brains can only focus on one pain stimuli at a time, it will automatically make you feel the worst one, which is your headache. So your wrists aren't hurting anymore. At least not for as long as you aren't using them. Better not use them.

Granted. The webcomic exists, but the server it is hosted on is very slow. So downloading one image takes about an hour. Each image shows only 3 of those cartoon blobs, and you need approximately 20 of these images to get a decent story. Because of the negativity from people about the slowness of the web server, before the story reaches the climax, the web author abandons the project.

I wish Talps would cry for the same duration as he maniacal laughs for each maniacal laughter he does.

Granted, but he's turned out to be a typical villain dude, and he is holding you hostage in the dungeon in my volcano lair that i lended him. He often spends around an hour a day telling you details about his evil plan to sell focus and motivation to as much people as possible and make everyone's legs fall off. Afterwards, he'll spend a good 30 minutes laughing maniacally, and as per your wish, another half hour crying uncontrollably. (The corruption is that you extended your suffering to a full two hours a day, rather than just one and a half.)

I think the purpose of this game has degenerated into weaving as much wishes and corruptions into this continuity as possible. I wonder if we'll get to see the Tablecat army again.

I wish Gunpoint's level editor didn't suck.

Granted. It's better than KS editor even the whole game so this forum doesn't exist anymore.

I wish I was somewhere else.

Granted. You are in Guinea and suffering from Dracunculiasis.

I wish both my head and wrist stopped hurting me and nothing else started to.