Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted. You are able to conquer time and space, but, for some reason, you are not able to eat and drink.
So you will starve slowly.

I wish I had at least one more week to finish my bachelor thesis.

Granted, but it's now a thesis in which you talk about bachelors. And you only have one week left to finish it.

I wish i didn't **** up my nation in NationStates so badly. (I tried to make it a utopia but i doubt anyone would wanna live in a place like this.)

Granted, but because of absence of word, your wish is incomplete so will be showed only in your mind.

I wish I knew what is after death.

You die.


I wish for a great weekend.

Screw you, Talps. Not only was i already writing something, but you also failed to be clever or original in any way. Well, i'm gonna finish writing anyway, just for the heck of it and because i feel that it's better than my different-posts-are-alternate-universes story.

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Granted; you are now dead. It's not because of the "kill the person who wished to see the afterlife" cop-out, though. In fact, you were as alive as ever and even were still physically in the same place on our world when you got a glimpse of what the afterlife is like. Speaking of which, i should probably explain how it went: Your body stayed where it is, but your consciousness was briefly sent to the afterlife. For what was supposed to be a short while, you could see, hear and feel (what was going on in) a randomly-selected location in the afterlife. However, for whatever reason, you never returned, your bodily functions stopped working, and you died.

Because i figured your relatives should be informed of your untimely demise, and scientists currently researching the supernatural and/or wish granting could use the info, i told everyone you knew about what happened, and over time several theories on what the afterlife did to you arose... Was it death through severe sensory overload? Was the afterlife not to be experienced by a mere mortal, and did your soul shatter? Did my wish-granting magic fail to take you back to your body (either by simply not working or accidentally placing you somewhere else)? Was it a place worse than hell, filled with Lovecraftian creatures and structures everywhere, which caused ? Did you pass some form of "border" where you could no longer return to the world of the living? Or did i lie about everything and kill you? Some of these theories sparked more theories about what the afterlife actually is, and people are now more afraid of death than ever. In fact, they're even more afraid of death than of public speaking.

Also, assuming there is any intercontinuity between the Nifforum's Corrupt-A-Wish-universes, the afterlife should simply be Heaven and Hell, with everyone going to Hell.

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Talps, your wish is also granted, but your weekdays (all of them, not just this week) are now the most agonizing thing to exist.

I wish i knew which ending Raocow would get first in The Stanley Parable. (I think it'll be the Real Person ending, but...)

Wish Granted, but the only words he speaks throughout the playthrough are "cat" and "planet". He than gives you a magical curse for making him play The Stanley Parable. For the rest of the year, your only dreams will be his playthrough of that game. You will remember every dream.

I wish for my own library. (I am not disallowing others to borrow books from it by saying "my own". Just that I own it.)

Granted. You open "This PC" or "Computer" (depending if you use windows 8 or 7) you navigate to a folder of your choice, right click it, and choose Add to library->Create new. You make a new library and presto, you now own a new library with one folder in it!

I wish my back wasn't hurting like hell.

Granted. You are quadriplegic.

I wish I was Royale user on www.picmonkey.com (it allows you to use very special effects for your photos).

Granted. However, they discontinue all of the effects you were going to use, and replace them with "Add Fancy Bears to this Photo".

I wish I knew how to use CSS.

CSS = Crime Scene Science.

Granted. You are now a Crime Scene Scientist. (Yes I know you probably ment Cascade Style Sheet)
You are sent to the most horrific crime scenes and you have nightmares for live.

I wish nature would only allow to make it rain for a max of 2 hours a day.

Granted. It causes catastrophic drought in areas, where are dry and wet seasons and where wells and water reservoir are filled only during the latter one.

I wish  my sister's cats stopped sleeping in my shoes.

Cats sleeping in shoes is quite a cute image! They stop sleeping in your shoes and start doing much worse things in them.

I wish to cope well with my incoming onslaught of assignments.

Granted, but you are overloaded and will be shut down ( in your case, you will be eliminated).

I wish I could work only three hours a day.

Granted. A company who is hiring is looking for people who can work 3 hours a day and because of your wish, you do not even need to apply for a job. You're magically hired. This company however is on a 2 hour journey away from you, and they expect you to work 1 hour in the morning at 7:00 AM, 1 hour in the afternoon at 1:00 PM and 1 hour in the afternoon at 9:00 PM. They do not allow you to be present at non-working hours though, so you'll have to entertain you while you don't work, and there's not much to entertain you with in the neightbourhood. So in essense, you'll be travelling for 10 hours a day to work 3 hours.

I wish someone I am having a PM conversation with would open up for the topic and not dismiss everything because they think they know everything.

(From what i remember of his behaviour, it's most likely that guy, isn't it? The one who used to have a somewhat small section in the Nifflas World of Text devoted to hating on him?)

Granted, but now he and/or she resorts to dem good ol' shaming tactics. The ones you often see feminists use.

I wish i knew what the PlatGEnWohl engine is going to look like when it's first released.