Corrupt-a-Wish

granted but you die horribly.

I wish to know what this world of text is and the reasons and information behind the devoted hatred within it.

Your World Of Text is a website where you can have an infinite (or seemingly infinite) grid that you and others (either anyone or just the ones you grant permission) can fill with... well, text. Something like Minecraft except 2D and with ascii art. Yukabacera made one specifically for the Nifforum community.

So, a few years ago, there was this drawing of a stick figure that was hanged (from a gap in the floor between the ____ and ---- if i'm not mistaken) with as far as i know zero context besides that. After a while someone (it's all anonymous btw, even with a list of approved members) wrote something among the lines of "<- I sure hope that is Salmoneous" next to it. And then others followed suit, and that area would be known as the "h8mail area". I don't remember what exactly was written, but there were a few people stating that they agreed with the first guy, then there was a guy defending you (claiming that you were "not that bad once you get to know him"), to which someone replied by stating what exactly they hate about you. I don't really remember what was said though. And then there was also this other guy who compared you to LPChip. Again, i don't remember it that much, but i think he stated that LPChip tried to be kind and help people or something, and i definitely remember him saying you were the opposite of what he said LPChip was. And then the last thing i remember being said was that you should be banned.

Eventually, someone (to this day nobody knows who) removed all text, i think even including the hanged guy, and replaced it with the phrase "NO MORE H8MAIL!", after which no one really bothered with the "h8mail" anymore. So then at least one person (maybe just that one) complained about how we lost the only place where we could freely vent our opinions about you with no repercussions, and from that point onward it was never mentioned again.

Granted, but now you know too much and are therefore hanged from a gap in the floor between the ____ and the ----.

I wish my screen didn't have this magenta pixel which only shows up on the Nifforum.

Granted, now it shows up everywhere BUT the Nifforum!

I wish I had some french fries right now!

You have 2 undecillion french fries. Your enormous planet of french fries crashes with the Earth and destroys it.

Way to wipe out the human race!




I wish Venus was terraformed into a beautiful Earth-like planet, ideal for human habitation.

Granted, but our planet Earth must be destroyed...Slowly. Painfully. Together with the human race and everything on it in order to create something similar.

I wish someone could put a received small birthday cake which I left in a hurry at work into the fridge.

Granted, but it turns out that the cake is made from the same stuff as the cake in Portal.

I wish i knew how a hypothetical four-dimensional being would see.

Wish Granted, you become a mathematician and neurophysicist. Your most amazing accomplishment is a brain implant that allows one to imagine a spacial fourth dimension much more easily. To test it you get it put in your own brain. In 80% of those who get this first version of the implant, including you, bright lights start to cause seizures after around 3 months. Most become nocturnal.

I wish to wake up in a new world to explore, with the ability to teleport between the new place and Earth.

Granted, but where you end up teleporting is relative to your position in the world you're in. As such, you end up in space because Earth is going in a different direction than new-world. And that's just assuming that you don't die because of a lack of oxygen, ridiculously hot/cold climates, the fact that physics work differently in one way or another, . And even without all that, there's no guarantee that new-world is worth exploring. It's not like every universe is Knytt Stories or anything. It may be some infinite barren flat landscape. Or worse: It may be about to be destroyed in some way (wizard erasing new-world from existence, giant planet-eating dragon, sun going supernova, anything can happen really) right at the moment you enter it. Also, you never asked to know how to teleport.

I wish there was a turn-based RPG for the Oculus Rift, that's meant to emulate the style of those SNES RPGs (except in first person of course).

Granted, they remake Arcana for the Oculus Rift. 

I wish I was at a spa right now.

Wish granted, you are at a spa hundreds of miles away from your home. Your hair has been replaced by a paper hat, which is then ruined by the water.

I wish for gravity-defying house-building materials.

Before you can build your house, all your bricks float away.

I wish for more meals containing raw mushrooms.
Not poisonous mushrooms.
Or any like the ones in that KS level.

Granted, but each meal requires more mushrooms than there are in existence (similar to how in Minecraft you need 2 cubic metres of wooden planks to build 1 cubic metre of workbench), and as such those meals can't be made. But they "exist" in one way or another.

I wish Valve hired LPChip to design Portal 2 co-op course 7.

Granted, but he's doing it in a hurry, so it is not so good.

I wish I knew why guests are interested in printing this topic.

You stumble upon a terrifying conspiracy relating to the corruption of wishes and a high-profile American politician, just like that one guy in that one film. Soon the CIA and the FBI and the MIB are all coming for you, and so are some ninjas, and Brue Willis, Will Smith and Liam Neeson. Your home is trashed and eventually blown up, your bank accounts closed down, your name sullied and your existence deleted from government databases. You have an epic, round-the-world chase before successfully exposing the conspiracy, discrediting the politician and restoring your good name.
The next morning, you slip over in the shower and bang your elbow, and it really hurts.

I wish I could successfully establish a running joke in this game that would last more than three posts.

Granted, but the running joke is "The cake is a lie".

I wish all currently existing roads and other such things were replaced by solar roadways.