Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted. You are reincarnated as mayfly so your new life doesn't last too long.

I wish I could travel back in time to mid 2010s and have a stern talk with younger me about some of my dumb choices that affect me now.

Granted. The net result is that younger-you adds one more dumb choice to her repertoire: she doesn't listen to your advice.

I wish for a device that would magically give me the benefits of having had a shower in under ten seconds. Preferably without having to get out of bed.

Granted. Because it's so fast you have no chance to regulate temperature of this magical shower substitute and it always feels either too cold or too hot.

I wish I had some raspberry ice cream in the freezer because the weather is unexpectedly warm for a March.

Granted. There is a single gram of raspberry ice cream in the freezer. And the freezer isn't even yours.

I wish I was more motivated to do things I need to do.

Granted. On any day when you fail to do everything that you need to get done that day, there is a one in five chance that your home will catch fire.

I wish for the anime I'm currently watching to get a second series within the next year that will complete the story, and for the second series to be as excellent as the first.

Granted. It's a great story, excellent writing and everything but you just can't get into it and quit watching it in the half not caring how it will end. It may have something to do with the animators deciding to draw everyone as Mr. Potato Head so you don't know which character is which.

I wish for a pair of sunglasses that would look good on me.

Granted! They look amazing on you but they don't really work too well at blocking the sun.

I wish I didn't have a headache.

Granted, you don't have a head.

I wish Purple Ink would stop making wishes that lead to their untimely demise.

Granted. Their wishes now lead to your untimely demise.

I wish my hay fever went away forever.

Granted, scientists invent a hay fever elimination shot that you only have to get refreshed once per year. Unfortunately, it has a side effect of dry eyes and now you have to carry eye drops with you everywhere.

I wish my heating bill wasn't so expensive every month.

Granted. Your heating stops working, so they stop charging you.

I wish for a new pair of jeans.

Granted. It's a pair of pink jeans for little girls so very cute but probably not what you need.

I wish I had a pair of fancy but light and comfortable shoes I could wear to an upcoming formal event.

Granted! You purchase a cute pair of light blue heels that are very comfortable. Sadly, you forget to pack your dress and so you have to wear your bathrobe to the formal event.

I wish there were more healthy restaurants in my area.