The Game of Lies

This game is pretty simple. A police officer is interrogating a criminal. I will ask a question, and the next poster will lie to that question and ask another one. the format of a post should be:

Robber:
lie

Cop:
question

Don't just simply lie with "Yes" or "No" give an explantion or alibi for it to be believable.
And please, keep it clean.

Example:
Me:
Cop:
Did you steal that?

Post 1:
Robber:
No, I was too far away to reach it.

Cop:
Where were you standing?

Alright, I'll Start.

Cop:
Do you have a real job, Not just a robber?

Robber:
Sure, I am the reporter of a communist newspaper.

Cop:
Hmm... Since when?

nice topic.


Robber:
I started a few years back as a cleaner and decided to hand in a report and they liked it enough to get a promotion.


Cop:
You started as a cleaner? Why did you start as a cleaner?

Robber:
I failed all my classes in college, so it's the only job I could get.

Cop:
Why did you fail all your classes in college?

Robber: Because my pencil tip kept breaking.

Cop: And why did it keep breaking?

Robber:
Because I was born in a poor family and couldn't afford a high-quality pencil. In fact I found mine in a toilet of a train station.

Cop:
And what exactly were you doing in the train station?

Robber:
I was at the trainstation because my col.. err, I mean, family was going to arrive.

Cop:
Okay, but what made you decide to steal that pencil and why didn't you bring it to the police station?
to the next poster, try to make it look like he wasn't trying to steal the pencil. good luck

Robber:
There was a note scratched on the wall that said "niff wuz here". But that's beside the point. There was another note that said "To the one brave enough to remove the pencil from the toilet, a mighty empire will one day be yours. It will begin with this small gift: I grant you ownership of my pencil."

Cop:
Where is the deed? No ownership transfer is legitimate without a signed deed.

Robber: Well, I used to have the deed, but then someone stole it. And therefore I decided to throw away the pencil.

Cop: Who stole it then?

Robber: I'm not sure actually, though i do know that he knew about the whole empire thing.

Cop: How do you know if you don't even know who it was?

Robber: Well I knew him but I didn't really know him. You know? It's like talk to him every once in a while but I don't know his name or where he lives, I some times buy crak- I mean news papers from him but I don't really know anything about him.

Cop: What is the difference between knowing some one and knowing some one. Be specific here, I need to use this excuse on my wife.

Robber: Easy. You know someone if you see his face and at least once talked to eachother, but you know someone if you know how to sleep with his sister without them knowing about it.

Cop: What, you slept with the sister of the suspect?

Just a clarification here: since this is the game of lies, the robber used an excuse here that the cop obviously can't use

Robber: Of course. Who hasn't? She's the town screwdriver everyone has had a turn.

Cop: ... You do know you are the suspect, right?

Robber: Oh, i thought some other guy was the suspect.

Cop: Really? Ever heard of this thing called "common sense"?

Robber: sure. We have have 5 senses. Eyes for seeing, Ears for hearing, skin for feeling, mouth for tasting and our nose for smelling. Its common to everyone.

Cop: Eh... okay, never mind. Lets get back to the subject. So you are a reporter of a newspaper you mentioned at the beginning. Was that the reason why you were at the crimescene?