Could you do me a favour?

Under any other circumstances, you know, I'd love to, but I was actually the one who put it in the river to begin with, and I think the ocean gods would be angry if I recalled my ritual sacrifice of your car.

Would you be so kind as to ask someone to do a favor for you?

I could, but you're already doing that and I'm too much of a hipster to just go doing the same stuff as other people, maaan

By the way... would you mind helping me dive in this other, totally unrelated river so I can scavenge for any valuables inside this car that just so happens to be currently submerged there?

I totally would, but I already knew that, so I already dived and got all the valuables out, so I already know its a waste of time, and I hate to leave even more evidence behind of me robbing that treasure. I mean... I can't I have a dentist appointment right now.

Could you do me a favor and freeze this specific river for me? I need to make sure no one goes near a possible car that I don't know of that is in this river.

I'd love to, but I need to get my car out, first.

Look, I would really, really appreciate it if you could dive down to my car and make sure all the loot I stashed in the back seat is still there.

I would, but first I need to hide all my loot in my own vehicle and then find another river to sink it in. Preferably one not frequented by pesky diving thieves.

Can you help me mod my car into a van so I have more space to fit all these vast riches in?

No, that's not a good idea... I'm pretty sure if I start modifying your car, it won't be road-legal afterwards anymore.

Could you do me a favor and gift Vegetal Gibber a truck with trailer?

Nope, sorry, he's not getting anything from me. I hate that guy! Moreover, I heard he plans to sink the truck in a river... so wasteful.

I would appreciate it if you didn't reply to this message. Coming up with new favors to ask is hard!

Oh, that would be too easy, now wouldn't it?

It would be very helpful if you could write a book... doesn't have to be a big book though, just 1483 pages on A4 format with every page filled to the brim, and put "Could you do me a favour" lines in there sorted alphabetically so Vegetal Gibber can pick from that list.

Erm... I would love to, but I'm... banned from writing things. Including this. I was named after I accidentally error something bad about our secret insect overlords.

I would really owe you if you could turn off the light in my kitchen. Someone left it on and I don't want to stand up because I'm warm.

Normally I'd be happy to, but I'm reluctant since that may actually be our last line of defense against the insect overlords... They might begin to crawl out from below the fridge as soon as we turn off the lights

Could you do me a favor and grow some fresh fruit for me? Supermarket fruit sucks big time

I'd like to, but I'm all out of cheap mass-produced seeds...

Would you be so polite as to start a company that mass-produces cheap seeds?

I'd love to, but I had to gladly and willingly offer up all my seed stock to our gracious and benevolent insect overlords.

Do me a favour and show the proper reverence to our gracious and benevolent insect overlords, as betting so kind and patient and gentle a matter race.

I'd do anything for you if you ask something reasonable, but insects? come on...

Could you do me a favor and convince a certain girl that I'm the right guy for her?

Hm. I'm not sure I should do that - consumers deserve to choose for themselves the car repairman they think would be best for them rather than go on someone else's advice. That's what "the right guy" means, right? Of course. Phew!

Could you perhaps develop some robot which does anything I would do in a given situation (except the dumb stuff, of course) so I can go get more sleep?

Well dude, I tried. Unfortunately we had a few teething problems in development...

Um, I'd really appreciate it you could help me deal with a very minor and inconsequential uprising of self-replicating ncrecc-androids that I, um, just happened to stumble across and am in no way responsible for?