Could you do me a favour?

I would, but I'm not your servant. I'm CEO of organization called Extra Large Pyjamas For The Giants.

Could you do me a favor and make the hot weather stop?

No! Why would I want to!?

Be so kind as to buy me a driving theory test app.

Well, I would, but I can only buy Spanish apps due to the region lock system on my device.

Can you do me a favor and roll some dice for me? I really need that natural 20.

I would, but whenever I roll dice, I tend to botch. You don't want me.

Could you do me a favor and tell me what love is?

I would, but I'm worried you've been eating those mushrooms again.

Can you do me a favour and teach me to stop a car without stalling?

I would love to, but you better not take any driving advice from me. The day after I got my license, I went for a practice ride and got lost while trying to find the exit of the parking lot.

...and I REALLY wish I was kidding 

Could you do me a favor and brew me some really strong coffee? I can't afford to pass out from sleep deprivation.

I would, but I'm more of a tea person myself, and I like to enforce my customs on others, so no coffee from me.

Would you be kind and give me a massage?

Sorry, I can't. My hands are red from slaving in a salt mine all day.

Could you do me a favor and convert my videos to AVI?

I would, but my BMI is too high so I can't.

Could you do me a favor and find me someone who actually likes pork rinds? I want to understand where they are coming from. 

Well, I was working on a giant mechanical trap to catch one of them, but somebody ate the pork rinds I was going to use to as lure.

Can you do me a favor and teach me some karate moves?

I would, but I'm too afraid I'll break you in one way or the other.

Can you do me a favor and park my Bugatti Veyron for me?

Man, I would love to but since it only exists in your imagination you'll just have to imagine me doing it.

Hey, could you do me a favour and chase up the French IT people who are supposed to be setting up my work user account but still haven't after nearly three weeks? It's a pain having to ask someone who works on the other side of the office to log me back on after every time I leave my desk.

I would, but I fear that doing it would improve your productivity at work, leaving you with less time to work on KS levels. So... no dice.

Could you do me a favor and tell my neighbors not to make such a racket so early in the morning?

Off topic, are you saying you want me to lose my job so I can work on KS more?
Dude, that's what weekends are for!

OT: Goodness no!! I'm not THAT evil. I just want you to have an excuse to slack off so you come back home less tired

Quoting the last favour asked, to help keep the game going:

Could you do me a favor and tell my neighbors not to make such a racket so early in the morning?