Could you do me a favour?

I would like to but I don't have spare room for the monkey (i don't want it to sit in the living room) and that old typewriter I inherited from grandpa is broken and there is no place to get it fixed because the last typewriter fixing shop in the nearby town closed some 20 years ago (also a true story).

Please do me a favour and help me to look for the short story I've read several years ago that answered the monkey question in very funny way.

I would but I'm too busy writing my own short story that answers probability questions based on monkeys.

Do me a favour and get me some more pizza.

I wish I could, but I don't know your favourite pizza flavour, and I can't think of any way I could find out. As far as I can think of, there is no way I could find out what kind of pizza you like. It's just impossible. Sorry.


Can anyone think of a way I can find out what kind of pizza Purple Ink likes?

Welllll... i can think of a couple of ways, but they're all a little unethical (and invasive of privacy, and actually now that i think about it, deeply, deeply illegal) and, look, maybe just forget i said anything, I don't want to get into any trouble here...

I know it's a bit late notice, but could you do me a HUUUUGE favour and babysit tonight?

I would. I definitely would... But I kinda missed your post earlier, so tonight is like a month ago. Sorry....

Would you be so kind to give me a massage? My body is very stiff due to the cold winter.

Sure, why not. But I doubt it will help you because I never give massage to anyone before so I don't know how to do it.

Would anyone help me to shovel the snow away from the pavement in front of my home? I already did it once today and it's covered in snow again.

I would but it's cold and I forgot my mittens. Again.

Do me a favour and buy me a new pair of mittens.

I would, but my own mittens aren't really coping with this cold weather, so my mitten-picking skills are probably sub-par.

Can anyone please help me pick a decent pair of mittens? I promise I'll then buy Purple Ink the same pair. We can be mitten-buddies!

Sure. I would reccomend you the same mittens I've bought for my friend's baby girl, but I'm afraid they would be too small.

Do me a favour and help me wrap christmas presents for my family.

Oh, i would but I just finished wrapping mine and have a severe papercut. I'm still recovering. I estimate to heal in about 4 days. I can help you them though...

Could you be a dear and help Polana with her Christmas presents wrapping problem?

Err, I would, but I think I'm too late. Sorry, Polana. Also, I sliced open my finger with a pair of scissors while flattening a cardboard box just when I finished wrapping my own presents - true story!


Can you do me a favour and find me a good way of keeping this wound safe while it heals? It's closed and on its way, but I don't want it to catch on something and tear open again. I've been wearing a plaster (that's English English for a band-aid) for about three days and my skin has gone all wrinkly and gross.

I would look for some solution but I'm not a nurse so I'm afraid it would only make things worse.

Would anyone be so nice and take empty bottles from the christmas party to the recycling container for glass? I don't feel like walking with glass bottles on the ice-covered pavement now.

I would but I'm sure you've done it by now.

Someone do me a favour and make this important phone call for me.

look, I'd really love to, but I can't actually reach the phone because i can't move due to the ever-increasing buildup of empty bottles.

Could someone get me the phone so I can help Purple Ink with this phone call thing?

I would but I don't know where your phone is.

Do me a favourand make me a cup of good black tea please.