Could you do me a favour?

Oh, I'm on it. Give me a second...

A second later.

Okay... So... long story short, the entire country is out of power right now, I managed that somehow, but the robots still work, and I have no idea why. I guess I'm not up for the job.



Would you be a dear and find a way to disable my battery powered, motion sensor light strips that I have in my house? With the blackout, I seem to be the only one with light, and its attracting all the wrong focus due to the android plague...

I would but I've secretly been using the radiation from the lights to work on my tan.

Would you do me a favour and turn the lights back on everywhere so I don't have to keep creeping around LPChip's house?

I totally would but I'm too busy enjoying the stars without all the light pollution. Stars are good.

I would consider it a personal favour if you could help me escape this android-infested planet and come explore the galaxy with me.

Oh I would, I totally would... were it not that one of the androids captured me, the only light source was a big give-away... So I'm currently not able to do anything.


Would you be kind and break me out of here?

I would but I don't want to anger the android overloads.

Do me a favour and successfully overthrow the androids so we can be done with this mess.

I would, but the androids have no shut down the internet, seized control of the global economy and taken away all my knives and blunt instruments.

Do me a favour and make sure no one finds out this whole android business may in a long, roundabout way, be the teensiest bit my fault?

Well, that might solve itself if the me-androids manage to wipe out of all humanity. Let's just wait and see.

Could you do me a favor and find a really good pizza place for me? Preferably one the androids haven't already raided?

Sure thing! I'll go eat at every pizza place in the whole world for the next 10 years. I'll come back to you once I found that really good pizza place. See you in 10 years.


Could you do me a favor and invent a nano-virus that can stop the android plague?

Dude, I tried to! But then MI5 raided my evil lab and in the ensuing firefight the ceiling collapsed and destroyed all my work, and I had to flee in my escape helicopter, abandoning all my notes, which I don't think they'll be able to decrypt... in time. But then the androids shot down my helicopter when I was halfway to the Falklands and now I'm stuck on one of those inflatable lifeboats in the middle of the Atlantic with no land in sight.

I would be extremely grateful if you could see your way to sending me some shark repellent so that I can make it safely to my backup lab and continue my anti-android research.

Sorry the only shark repellent I have actually attracts killer shrimps. Using it would be a bad idea.

Do me a favour help me get back into a normal sleep routine.

Oh, I would, but every time I help someone with their sleep routines, and I show them how to do it, I fall asleep and they kick me for being rude and careless...


Could you please make and release a Knytt Stories level so we have something to enjoy ourselves with?

Well I am really close to finishing doing so, but now I guess I'll have to delete it so as to not make this request come true.

Do me a favour and fry my hard drive to make sure I can't release the level LPChip requested?

Hm... I would, but I'd quite like to see that level. So instead I'll fry my monitor to make it seem as though I couldn't have read your request. Crap, but I need some computer...

Could you help me move halfway across the globe and make up a hidden identity so I can't be held accountable for fulfilling Talps's request?

I would but it would reveal my secret identity in the process. So obviously I can't do that.

Do me a favour and train my dog.

Well I would, but Dogs Are Bad.

Would you be so kind as to help everyone realise that Dogs Are Bad?