Could you do me a favour?

I would, but my doctor has subscribed a orange-rich diet, not a strawberry-rich one. Sorry....

Could you do me a favor and stop the people behind all those crypto virusses? They suck.

I would, but I'm too busy at the moment trying to restore my encrypted files without paying the ransom, which is proving to be mighty difficult since my last backup is stored into a pack of fifty 1.44Mb floppy disks with the obligatory unrecoverable CRC error at the very last volume. I probably should have done this more often. I do agree that these people suck, though.

Could you do me a favor and give me any unused laptop you might have? Mine is way too old and I want to replace it, but man, these things are expensive.

I would but my backup laptop was made with pieces of my old one and the harddrive is full of personal data about my t-shirt- eating habits, and it could hurt me professionally if that got out.

Would you be so kind as to blubber Tuesday hedgehog lemon fridge? Artichoke alpaca true love swimming?

I can't now, my Markov chain generator is broken!

Do me a favor and kickstart WaDF3!

I would, but I completely lost my faith in crowdfunding in the recent years. On hindsight, that "$2000: You get a really light wallet!" milestone reward did sound kinda fishy...

Be a pal and help me regain my faith in crowdfunding by contributing to my "Let's build a huge pile of money" kickstarter instead!

(thanks LPChip for my 100th ! )

I would, but I'm more of an indigogo guy, and fulfilling your wish makes me feel like I'm betraying Indigogo.

Can you be so kind and get the clouds in my country out of the way so the sun gets through again?

You're welcome Vegetal Gibber.

I would, but I'm no longer the weather goddess. I was transformed back to my human form after I ate blue apples.

Do me a favor and give me something, because tomorrow is my birthday!

I'd love to, but I don't even know what country to send this super awesome birthday poncho to! You'll just have to settle for my sincere hopes that you have a wonderful day.

I'd really appreciate it if you could give me an electronic foot brace like the knee brace that Batman wears in 'The Dark Knight Rises', as I appear to have strained my Achilles tendon.

I would, but all the futuristic high-tech medical equipment in the universe was seized by those pesky Jupiter Moon Martians, who now have exclusive control over it and only allow its use on their injured soldiers. Also, I don't know your ankle size.

Could you do me favor and get me one of those high-jump power orbs? I have to get past this giant spiky toast, you see, and I can only jump about 40 cm high.

I would, but Juni needs them to go for her new and last adventure called 'A Monstrous Bear Lost In America' before her retirement.

Do me a favor and help me to arrange a date with that guy I like or I'll soon be gone crazy.

Well, I would, but I'd rather avoid any misunderstandings. You see, when you say "I'm asking for a friend", people always assume you're actually asking for yourself.

Could you do me a favor and bring me a whip strong enough to kill a vampire?

I'm... erm... asking for a friend.

I would, but since I'm your friend, and a vampire, I don't really like where this is going.

Would you be so kind as to nick a time machine, go forward in time to when they finish making and release 'Witchbrook', buy a copy, download it onto a computer, and then bring the computer back in time and give it to me so I can play it? I really don't want to have to wait for however long it takes them to finish making it...

I invented the time machine and travelled to 2040 (just to be safe and get the copy cheap). I then realized that Death Stranding is already out by now, got too excited to get it and forgot to buy Witchbrook.

Could do me a favor and take me back to 2018? My time machine doesn't have the travel backward feature implemented.

I would, but the Time machine I build doesn't travel forward in time. Now this is not a big deal, as I've hidden it inside one of the yet undiscovered chambers of the pyramids in Giza, so you only need to go there to find it, but there may be a collapse in the future, so when you get here, the time machine may actually have been destroyed.

I know, that's a really lame excuse to say that I did something without actually doing it.


That said, could you do me a favor and give me an actual time machine that at least can go backwards so I can still hide it in a pyramid at Giza so the above wasn't completely untrue?

I would, but doing that would close the time loop that results in ancient egyptians stealing the time machine and using it to expand their empire across time and space, eventually becoming the dreaded Space Egyptians that enslave countless worlds and start a huge interstellar war against the Jupiter Moon Martians.

Could you do me a favor and help me convince everybody here that messing with the timeline is a bad idea?