Could you do me a favour?

I would, but last time, I only ended up robbing my own account.  Bank said I really wasn't robbing them at all.  I'm not sure how this whole robbing thing is even supposed to work.

Could you do me a favor and go camping with me?  I can't eat all these marshmallows by myself.

I would, but I'm really allergic to camping, or allergic to you... one of the two.

Would you be so kind and do me a favor though? Can you deliver my newspapers to my customers for me? I can't pay you for it though, I really need the cash myself.

Dude, you know I totally would do that for you, only I can't because its raining and I'm water-soluble.

Do me a favour and let me borrow £10?

I'm sorry, but the homeless man at the gas station stole my wallet with everything in it. I called the police, but they stuck in a traffic jam I think.

Could you do me a favour and repair my bike?

I totally would, but I have this power that turns everything I touch into gold, and that would mean your bike will get stolen too soon. I possibly cannot do that to you. Sorry.


Could you do me a favor and start working for me? You know, with salary and stuff?

I'd like to, but I'm already a slave to the great Empire of Space Egypt.

I don't get paid, but I do get three square meals a day, and I get to goof off here when I'm not busy hoisting blocks of unobtainium to build whatever monument they have in mind.

Could you do me a favor and call a doctor for me?  I think the unobtainium is giving me tumors.

I totally called him and he was like 'Sorry, we can't treat unobtanium space tumours because of the blockade with the Space Egyptians during the ongoing conflict with the Jupiter Moon Martians'. Honest, that's what he said. You might think I didn't call him and just spent the day playing 'Child of Light' but you'd be totally wrong!

Could someone do us all a favour and resolve the ongoing political struggle between the Space Egyptians and the Jupiter Moon Martians?

I would, but I was killed in battle with a cookie monster. My restless soul still wandering here, but I can't do anything.

Could you do me a favour and bring me back to life?

I would, but I'm not of a high enough level to cast 'raise dead'. In fact I accidentally raised your body as a zombie.

Someone do me a favour and shoot Zombie CWolvie before the zombie apocalypse gets out of hand?

I would, but doing that would deprive me of my favorite zombie drinking partner, which would cause me a great deal of grief.

Could you do me a favor and take the trash out?

I would, but a bunch of zombies are camping near the trash, and I'm afraid that going outside would make them turn me into a zombie too. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate them, but I just don't think that look suits my shoes.


Could you do me a favor and discover time travel for me?

I actually did, but I left it in the past by accident. Can't get stuff that's left in the past, y'know.

Could you do me a favor and create the world's first true artificial intelligence and cause the Technological Singularity?

I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave.

Could you do me a favour and explain that reference to anyone who didn't understand it?

I would, if I could. If I actually knew what the reference is... but given that I don't, I won't.

Could you do me a favor and rhyme something for me?

I would, but I have throat cancer.

Could you do me a favor and look inside my computer? I'm so desperate.