Just found 5mins to start on this, so I'll come back and edit this as I go along. Sorry for the mess in the meantime.
-The shift-based dialogue is pretty fiddly to play through. I found it pretty jarring, which kinda broke immersion at the points I should've felt most involved. I kinda wish you'd done the entirety of those scenes as cutscenes, instead of just the last few frames.
-The KS enemies are very weird to see in this context. The level would be a lot better without them in it, given the story it's telling.
-It's possible to jump up to the cat on the fire-escape in the first outdoor screen (it's actually really easy, since the platform's triangular) and climbing the wall leads to a wallswim.
On the whole it's a pretty decent level but there are a number of things letting it down. I was very impressed by the music, though, and the outdoor screens look really good.