Chatbot Dialogue Suggestions

WARNING:SUPER LONG POST

Hai peoplez!

As some of you may already know, I have been working for some time on a very ambitious project: A chatbot! And for once, something I've done has actually WORKED!  

The massive majority of my time has been taken by thinking up everything a person could possibly say, and thinking of a clever, witty response to it.

And this is where you come in!
If you can think of a something a person might say, and one or more responses for it, I'd like to hear from you! Reply with your suggestions.

It would also be a great help if you could put your suggestions in a format that my chatbot can understand; a guide to which is below. (using this is optional but please do if possible)
EDIT:In fact, just forget this bit altogether. It seems that a system made by a guy with a IQ of 80 is too complicated to be understood by people with IQs of 130+

So that I don't keep calling it "my chatbot", I have decided upon the name of "Hanashino-tan" which was suggested to my by a friend. It is also, as it turns out, a girl's name; so she is to be referred to as female to avoid confusion.
_{NOTE:She will also respond to "Hana" to save typing.}

Also, a rough guide about stuff:

I've been typing for two days straight now, so I'm just gonna shut up and leave you to it.

If you decide to help, YOU WIN FOREVER! and if you suggest a lot of things, there may be a special reward...  
But if you decide to be mean and nasty and not help even though it is obvious that I have worked and worked for two months just so you can have a computer to argue with, click here.

Thanks for helping!  

And I will be updating this post, I'm sure that I forgot something big.

I would help if I understood one bit of that format.

You programmer-folk are all beyond me. 

=|=

I would help if I understood one bit of that format.

You programmer-folk are all beyond me.  

=|=

It ain't programming.

Anyway, you can still suggest stuff even if you don't use the format. I just said it'd be a "great help" if you did.

My noodles are getting cold.

What's that supposed to mean?

I gave it a shot. Would these be valid?

You should definitely implement "Open the pod bay doors please."

=|=

(quote from VG deleted cause IE started spazzing out at the idea of having to scroll)

I think you may have been confused by the entry names I used in my examples.  Each input entry does not have to start with "Question" nor does each answer have to start with "Pos." Those were just examples. (Pos. stood for positive)
Both the question and the ansewr must have the same name.

I see. I thought "Question" and "Pos." were prefixes for each section. I'll edit my post.

Can you group both the questions and the answers in the same entry?

Can you group both the questions and the answers in the same entry?

They are stored in different files, so no.

Maybe you should have an additional [adj-Any] value, in case you want to respond to someone describing something regardless of how they describe it.

Maybe you should have an additional [adj-Any] value, in case you want to respond to someone describing something regardless of how they describe it.

There already is one, but I forgot to mention it  

It is [adj-Any]

and it will work work with any adjective, positive, negative or neutral.

I will also be moving some of the adjectives around, as things like "beautiful" and "impressive" are classified as neutral, even though they can only really be positive.

I am really surprised at how quickly this died.

It's not hard; just think of something You'd like to say to a chatbot and think of a phrase that you'd expect to get as a response.

I'm not looking for anything really special; I need responces for any possible question or statement, ranging from "Hi there" and "How old are you?" to things like "The cake is a lie!" and "What is the 495th digit of pi?"

Don't worry about doing really obvious things you're sure I'll already have, or someone else will have already done; chances are I won't, and even if I do, the more responses I have the better!

Now, can I please have a few more ideas? It's really hard doing this all on my own.

EDIT: Hanashino-tan will now be available for beta on server.klikfarm.com
You will need a Lacewing chat client. If you don't already have one, Here's one that I made. The password to download is JAMSANDWICH
The channel name is "Hanashino-tan Chatbot". Please remember to put a comma ( , ) after this name to prevent the internet spazzing out.
It will be online from roughly 4-11:30 weekdays, and 12pm-12am weekends & holidays, at GMT.

I am really surprised at how quickly this died.

It's not hard; just think of something You'd like to say to a chatbot and think of a phrase that you'd expect to get as a response.

And spend a few minutes trying to understand the syntax which you have to write it in.
The average lazy forum user won't spend time on that, because at first glance it looks complicated as heck. Then comes the frightening task of being creative, which in itself is pretty good at scaring people away from topics.
_{(compare the number of people in the "let's create a KS level together" threads with the number of people who have ever posted a topic in the KS level releases board.)}

tl;dr: Not surprised at inactivity.
Also, verbs and adjectives, but NO NOUNS? THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!

Quote from: jimj316 on June 26, 2010, 13:12:44

I am really surprised at how quickly this died.

It's not hard; just think of something You'd like to say to a chatbot and think of a phrase that you'd expect to get as a response.

And spend a few minutes trying to understand the syntax which you have to write it in.
The average lazy forum user won't spend time on that, because at first glance it looks complicated as heck. Then comes the frightening task of being creative, which in itself is pretty good at scaring people away from topics.
_{(compare the number of people in the "let's create a KS level together" threads with the number of people who have ever posted a topic in the KS level releases board.)}

tl;dr: Not surprised at inactivity.
Also, verbs and adjectives, but NO NOUNS? THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!

For the last time, you don't HAVE to use the format I prepared. IT WOULD JUST BE HELPFUL IF YOU DID.

Also, there are more than 14 million nouns in the English language, not including proper nouns. The average person knows about 10,000 of these. I tried adding a [noun] wildcard, but soon realised it would be impossible because of this.

For the last time, you don't HAVE to use the format I prepared. IT WOULD JUST BE HELPFUL IF YOU DID.

I can't believe I missed that. Sorry.
I read your edit. It's not that the format is too complicated to understand, it just looks like it is too complicated.

I had a few ideas for the bot, but they all required a noun wildcard. I'll help out if I can think of something that would work though.