The Messville Chronicles Ep. 2: This One Doesn't Really Have A Proper Name

Why does everyone seem to think this game is in any way related to MSPA? I'm not the one to rip off people, you know.

We don't. We just believe you has the idea for all this weird fictional stuff from playing too much MSPA. ...no, wait, 'too much MSPA' doesn't exist.

Only 500 floors? The current highest man-made structure doesn't even go up to 200, and you call 500 floors only?  

The use of the word 'only' doesn't depend on quantity, but on the situation in which it should be used.

Man, it's been so long I forgot what the heck I was planning to do   Then again, it's also my fault for disappearing so suddenly and spending a month at the beach 

Let's see...

Vegetal is feeling dizzy after smashing his head against the ceiling. The text "Vegetal is confused!" appears in the status bar and, suddenly, he wants to attack random people for no reason. But just then, he starts hallucinating and sees a floating giant tuna head talking to him. It says: "Don't give up now, Vegetal! The fate of Sunday free coffee rests on your hands!". He shakes his head violently and says to himself: "Tuna head is right, I can't stop now.". He decides to check the windows on that floor to see if there's a MechaTec automated window-cleaning machine (or just a guy with a mop on a moving platform) conveniently waiting out there.

I sign up! 


TheDarkOne runs into the elevator and goes to the top floor.

I sign up!  

Spoiler: (click to show/hide)

Name: TheDarkOne
           Age: ▲
           Job: Dark Lord
           Background: seriously powerful sorcerer that became Dark Lord eons ago.

TheDarkOne runs into the elevator and goes to the top floor.

Error
The elevator broke!  

Matt goes back to Yukabacera's my apartment. Yukabacera I open the door and Matt asks Yukabacera me if he I know who the culprit is.

"Oh, erm, well, uh, you know, like, um, hot drinks, shower, work, nine to five, gotta go, culprit? No, sorry, never heard of him, briefcase, where, found it, bye!"

And he I storm out the apartment and down the stairs, briefcase in hand.

And Matt's Magatama shows no floating red padlocks, so what he I said is probably the truth.

Sir Leroy tries to find an alternative way to get up to floor 413. The stairs are out of the question, the elevator is pretty much out of everything, the fire escape is locked, and he doesn't have a helicopter.

So yeah, he's pretty much stuck.

Vegetal looks out the windows on floor 100. At first, he doesn't see anything important except the impressive skyline and the MechaTec Needle* to the north, but then, he notices something else that's much, much closer:

A balcony which is part of the fire escape. The door leading to it is locked, of course, but there might just be a way to exploit MechaTec's frequent fire, flood, electric shock, alien invasion and reruns of Taran, The Company Planet* drills...

And yeah, TDO, the elevator is kaput.

PointLezz Info™ entries unlocked: MechaTec Needle, Taran, The Company Planet.

=|=

Name: Bob
Age: 55 and a half
Background: Boring old old dude who walks using a cane.

Bob complains about the unability of getting to floor 413, and hits random people with his cane.

Matt wonders why nobody who isn't an NPC (not counting himself, of course) hasn't left Northbridge yet, then he goes back to Northbridge to look for clues, and then he goes to panfu.nl (the Dutch one) and logs in using the username StraightFlame.

Sir Leroy, wishing he hadn't left his space boots in his other suit, considers getting a new job whilst running like a madman out the door.

Hmmm... If I recall correctly, 100th floor was the Employee Relaxation Area... right?

Vegetal thinks fast and comes up with a cool --albeit drastic-- idea. He goes to the yoga room (the one MechaTec provides for their overstressed employees), being as stealthy as possible so nobody hears him coming. From the room entrance, he sees a bunch of people sitting on a big carpet with their eyes closed, trying to reach nirvana... and a small table with aromatic candles. Instead of entering the room, Vegetal takes out his CAT5 ethernet cable, thinks of the Vampire Killer theme and whips the candles on the table, causing them to promptly fall over the expensive, comfortable and very flammable carpet that covers the floor on that room. Before anyone notices him, he storms out and lunges for the emergency exit he saw before, so he can get to the top floor before his adrenaline rush wears off.

His only regret is not being able to collect more hearts for his current sub-weapon... whatever that means.

Oh, and I'd like a bit of pointlezz info about Taran, The Company Planet, plz.

You forgot my action, Yuka.

Oops. Sorry, Firecat, it won't happen again.

Bob complains about how the elevator is out and tries to hit people with his cane, but misses.

StraightFlame finds a public extranet terminal, goes to panfu.nl and...

BZZT BZZT BZZT

*coughcoughnotearthdoesntexistcoughcough*

Sir Leroy considers his other job options:

Waiter at Minch Burger
Dockworker at...*drumroll* the dock(s)
One of those weird dudes that strap signs to themselves and dance around the street

All in all, seems like sticking with MechaTec is a good choice.

Vegetal whips the candles, and the carpet goes up in flames. Mira, the AI responsible for dealing with visitors when receptionists aren't available and pretty much everything else concering people, hijacks the speakers and starts talking:

"This is Mira. There has been an incident in the employee relaxation area. That floor is currently in flames. This is not a drill. Please proceed to the nearest fire escape. Stay calm and do not use the elevator. Line up in an orderly fashion in front of the door and wait for it to open. I repeat, this is not a drill."

Everyone around Vegetal starts lining up in an orderly fashion in front of the fire escape door. The door starts wheezing and creaking, and slowly starts opening.

Firecat does a search for Herbert Archer. The stuff he finds are mostly biographies, which talk about the mysterious death of every Archer Inc. employee except himself, and the usual conspiracy theories about MechaTec using nerve gas to kill all his employees so they could recruit him for the Council.

Nonsense, of course.

INFO THYME:

Taran, The Company Planet is widely regarded as one of the worst, if not the worst TV show ever. It is a documentary series about MechaTec's discovery and colonization of the garden world Taran, which is currently a bustling spaceport. As one reviewer said: "The subject is very interesting, as MechaTec officials never really talked too much about Taran, and nobody really knew what they were doing there. But the subject is presented in such a boring manner that it makes you fall asleep. Whenever you see those green letters and hear that dramatic music on your TV, you know something bad is about to happen. That something being a rerun of this show."

=|=

Sir Leroy is really starting to feel down in the dumps.

He also stomachs the Taran, The Company Planet marathon in hopes of finding a -oh, I don't know- secret teleportation system or system of tunnels that will lead to the 413th floor. Yeah, great plan.

'Where does that door even lead?' Bob says.
He goes through to find out.

Matt eats cheese.

As soon as the door opens just enough for him to fit through, Vegetal screams "OH GOD, MY PET IGUANA IS STILL ON THE ROOF! I HAVE TO SAVE HER!!1". This is, of course, far from the truth, but he takes advantage of the confusion to rush ahead and start climbing the emergency stairs as fast as he can, hoping he will be able to reach the roof before the helicopter to MECHAOIL-5 takes off.