Stuck in an Elevator - Super-Giga-Mega CYOA Edition

Sorry I didn't update in so long, I was busy...doing...stuff.

Vegetal searches his pockets, and finds a 5 Zorkmid coin. How it got there is a mystery.

Pumpkin goes out into the shaft, and discovers that there is something wrong with the elevator! ZED gets pissed off again because people are flooding the shaft.

Matt searches his pockets, and finds an Elevator Gizmo Thingmajig. Unfortunately, you have to install it from outside the elevator.

It's a feature.

The guy from 5th floor repairs the newsfeed, and watches a report about Martians landing on a mountain in China. Just when the announcer starts talking about their plans, the news are replaced with static. Hm.

(1) Go out into the shaft.
(2) Swear like a sailor.
(3) Do...stuff. Just like I did.
(4) Sing the Sprunkeldunkel song in Swedish.
(5) This space intentionally left blank.

@PP: Fine. You win. Goddamn stuck-up linguists.

"Åh, Livsmiljö Sprunkeldunkel;
Sjukhus Flod Helga;
Korv Parlamentet;
Skinnbyxor Strimlad Kål Sprunkeldunkel;
Biltillverkare Vitlök Utsöndring;
Djävul Sprunkeldunkel!"

=|=

Yay, an update!

Enraged by the lack of a vending machine where he can get delicious candy using his new-found coin, Vegetal stands up at the center of the elevator and starts cussing the heck out of everything imaginable like a sailor man on the worst day of his life (2). He does this while rotating continuosly like a police siren. Hopefully, somebody out of the elevator will hear this and come to our rescue... or just beg us to shut up.

(5) the guy from the 5^th floor decides to take a nap. wich could be imposible because of someone cursing the most horrible things imaginable only in a sailor man on the worst day of his life.

I think i'll just do stuff like yukabacera.... whatever that may be.

If it's not too late...

Name: Joseph Swagglebar
Age: Even he doesn't know
Class : Porkamancer
Backstory : He is a man who has lost his memory except for basic Porkamancing. He vows to discover his true identity.

Nah, it's never too late to enter.

(5) Do something stupid that involves the gizmo i got

Welcome to THE ELEVATOR, FPB!

Vegetal starts swearing better than any sailor man, using words such as "ANTIDISESTABLISHMENTARIANISM YOUR MOTHER!", and "ZORKA$$!".

The guy from 5th floor takes a nap, but is rudely woken up by a quite hearty "POLKAF**K!".

Pumpkin does the same thing I did...which is playing Mass Effect but now I can't play it since I somehow uninstalled DirectX so if anyone can help me with that I'd be grateful

Matt tries out various questionable ...poses... which involve the gizmo he has. He skips Pose 5 though, because the gizmo is just too big and pointy.

Hmm. This game is now R-rated.

And, for some reason, the console makes a quiet *ding-ding* sound.

(1) Go out into the shaft.
(2) Kill the goddamn stuck-up linguists.
(3) Engrave a message of personal nature in the elevator doors.
(4) Get a PhD in Culinary Arts.
(5) ______________________

Oh and, the intentionally blank space is there just because I'm uncreative and I'd like to see how creative other people are.

=|=

I'll make my own... I decide to whip out my gameboy advance. Just for fun.

(5) Teleport to just a few meters outside the elevator using some kind of magic i learned in 2410 to go install the Key Item > Elevator Gizmo Thingamajic and get the elevator to work again but my teleporting fails and Yukabacera can now decide where i end up.

Oh, and what is the 'console'?

Now that Vegetal has vented his inner rage, he feels calm again. He considers going out into the shaft, but all that swearing made him pretty hungry. He looks at the bag of Cheetos that he opened while trying to crack the console password and comes up with an idea. He tries to get a PhD in Culinary Arts (4) and makes an experimental dish using the Cheetos, the bag itself, some cigarette butts and a piece of the elevator's rubber floor that he ripped using his bare teeth. Then, he decides to be his own judge and eats it in one bite, bracing himself for the reaction...

Pumpkin whips out his GBA, and starts playing a game that involves various falling colored blocks.

Really.

Matt teleports into the lobby of the Northbridge Tower.

Which is a very bad thing, considering that the elevator is on floor 459. No stairs will ever get you there. They go only up to floor 100 anyway.

However, the panel used to summon the elevator is obviously present here too, and the gizmo can be easily installed here.

(0) (ONLY FOR MATT, OBVIOUSLY) Install the gizmo and go up to floor 100 as quickly as possible.

Vegetal thinks critically for a few moments, and then decides that his dish tastes like pure Cheeto-ish heaven! Sadly, now he's all out of Cheetos and probably poisoned because of the rubber floor.

(1) Go out into the shaft.
(2) Order a pizza using the emergency phone.
(3) Tell the people in the shaft they'd better get inside.
(4) Look at the amazing patterns on the floor and ceiling.
(5) Rejoice, because you've actually made progress in this stupid game.

@SF: The console is what common folk and people stuck in the past would call the panel (such a stupid word), but this one is advanced, in the fact that it has a display screen, a password system, a built-in FiLIX v5.0 and a music player.

And it has the usual buttons, of course.

And a phone.

=|=

(0) I use the gizmo on a nearby console similar to the elevator's. The entire building starts shaking and i tell everyone to go into the elevator before it is too late, but again something happens.

Also here is the pause menu (which only i can access) incase someone is confused or clueless about what to do next.

In a moment of unexpected insight, Vegetal rethinks the situation and decides it wouldn't be wise to go out into the shaft just when someone has teleported out carrying an elevator-gizmo-thing. Therefore, he wipes the Cheetos dust in his mouth using someone's shirt (hoping they won't notice) and tells the people in the shaft they'd better get inside (3). He promises there'll be pizza waiting for them.

Also, he starts feeling a little funny after consuming his fine piece of cuisine. Like he could... like he could... take over the world!  ...No wait, that was just gas.

(Negative 1) The guy from the 5^th floor gets out of the shaft into the cabin (4) and decides to look at the floor to see that the white and blue tiles makes a kind of sweet fractal pattern.

3 Tell the people to get inside...