The Vending Machine

This is a classic forum game, but I didn't see it on here so I thought I'd post it.

Anyway, these are the rules:

You put something into the vending machine.

The next poster tells you what does the machine give to you, and puts something else into the vending machine.

*wash, rinse, repeat*

For example:

Anon Y. Mous: *puts a cup of tea into the vending machine*

Jane Doe: The vending machine gives you an empty cup and a note saying "Thank You!". *puts a red shirt into the vending machine*

Wash, rinse, repeat.

So, that's it. I'll start:

*puts an empty notebook and a pen into the machine*

=|=

the machine gives you a angry note written on the notebook saying that you should only insert MONEY from the region that the machine was made in, and anything else may damage the machine.

the rest of the notebook is full of expletives and drawings of Yorkshire sheep.

I put in a orange jersey.

PS welcome to the forum btw.

You recive Orange juice and a white jersey.
*I rob and drink the juice*
Wait, this juice tastes like cloth, you will see stupid machine...
*Puts lighted dynamite on machine*

The machine recites Section 28.1.1.b from the DCTA Employee's Handbook, which states that you should never use explosives/laser firearms/plasma firearms/phasers/tasers near the machine, and, if the usage of these items is necessary, point/throw them away from the machine and the customers. Then it dispatches a little repair robot which proceeds to eat the dynamite and promptly explode, but away from the machine as stated in Section 28.1.1.b in the DCTA Employee's Handbook.

*inserts money from the region the machine was made in*

PS: Thanks, jimj316.

=|=

It starts spitting out money. Turns out you actually gave it $3 billion dollars in foreign money. Unfortunatly, you lose $2.5 billion because the machine didn't have enough cash inside.

*Inserts a puppy*

After putting in your puppy, the machine starts to rumble, and out comes a fully grown dog. I guess it's a time vending machine! 


I insert 46 lemon tarts into the vending machine.

After putting in your puppy, the machine starts to rumble, and out comes a fully grown dog. I guess it's a time vending machine! 


I insert 46 lemon tarts into the vending machine.

You receive LimeLemon. 42 LimeLemons.
I insert $1 into the vending machine, and since it's similar to a video game machine, I let (one of the) LimeLemon(s) choose the drink.

Thing gives me $2.5 million.

I place a Lucky(?) Shroom in the vending machine.

The "Lucky" Shroom starts sucking everything around itself inside it, including the machine. However, it sucks in the machine while it's inside it, which creates a rift in the space-time continuum. Numerous boring sci-fi novels come out of the rift, burying everyone around what used to be the machine in very bad books. The rift closes, satisfied that it expelled those horrible things out of Dimension ZX.

After everything is over, a huge repair robot and a cleaning robot arrive. The cleaning robot destroys the books, and the repair robot quickly replaces the machine.

*puts a postcard from Point Lookout, MD into the machine*

=|=

The machine spits out the postcard. On the back it reads "Vending Machine went to Maryland" and on the front a picture of the vending machine and your wife on the beach has replaced the old one.

*Inserts a guitar into the vending machine*

*Out comes a a note with music writtin on it*

*Inserts a copy of Knytt Stories*

*Out comes a a note with music writtin on it*

*Inserts a copy of Knytt Stories*

The machine spits out Knytt (the game). It ate your stories. D:
*puts my left foot in*

Out comes a hamburger.

In goes my Lolwut pear.

Out comes a hamburger.

In goes my Lolwut pear.

Damn, I was hoping someone would reply, "You put your left foot out. You put your right foot in ang you shake it all about..."

It's time for a Mafia/MSPaintAdventures reference! (As well as an M&L RPG3 reference)

--|>kaizoMan (KM): Acquire lol wutermelon/--
--|>KM: Be the other guy/--
--|>straightFlame (SF): Place Broque Monsieur, Broggy, and all 15 Blittens inside vending machine/--