Nice to see another level with this concept, and the story has me intrigued now. But you really should work on the visuals. I think some of the screens, e.g. the first ones, were far too simplistic, and the different tilesets in different areas didn't work very well together... Maybe you should check out some other story-driven gameplay levels, such as Alamaster Moody's "The Outsider" (it's on knyttlevels.com) or googoogjoob's level.. what was its name.. "The Flash"? Yeah, pretty sure that's the one.