First off, Vote:Salmoneous because he uses fake evidence, something i think a mafia person would do.
Second, i would like to post some actions.
--!>Eat food/--
--!>Hide in a super-complicated maze just under town, like in Pokemon Diamond/Pearl/Platinum/--
--!>Send SingingSurger that Trojan Horse (computer virus) named Crazy Daisy, if it exists/--
There. Now i will be well-hidden, won't die today, and SS's C: drive will be formatted.