Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted! Your classes are: Watching Paint Dry, Learning To Tolerate Grody Men Being Leches, and A Practical Study Of Awful Smells.

I wish I had bought a new wifi dongle for my PC months ago instead of putting up with the old one's nonsense until now.

Granted; the one you would buy few months ago would be defective and just as bad as the old one.

I wish I didn't drop the last pistachio I had and it didn't fall behind the wardrobe.

Granted, it fell into your mouth and then you choked for a bit but saved your own life by doing the Heimlich maneuver on yourself with a chair.

I wish my boyfriend would make me more food.

Granted, he will now make you scrambled eggs on toast whenever you want.

I wish to be able to find a backpack I really like available to buy.

Granted. You find a really nice backpack that has everything you need. It's even available to purchase! Costs 1000000000 €.

I wish I had more snacks.

Granted. You now have one more peanut, potato crisp, cookie or whatever you've been snacking on lately.

I wish trains run on time.

Granted: trains are now powered by time itself. They are, however, still often late.

I wish for a cool Halloween costume for the party my friend is hosting next month.

Granted. You have a nice ice cube costume.

I wish I didn't have to go out.

Granted. You don't have to go out but suddenly feel weird urge to go out anyway. But like you want to go.

I wish my job didn't require me to drive.

Granted, it instead requires you to hop everywhere.

I wish I hadn't forgotten about the plans I'd made for this evening.

Granted but you forget about all other plans for the rest of the year.

I wish it would stop getting dark so early.

Granted, the evenings are now lit with a giant floodlight in your neighborhood!

I wish my landlady answered her messages.

Granted, but she will now only communicate with you by screaming.

I wish for safe travels this month.

Granted. You get a little tank which is very safe to travel in but also very slow and uses up too much fuel.

I wish my left ankle and foot stopped hurting me.