Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted. You catch mild cold on the first day of your holiday. It's not serious but annoying enough because your nose is stuffy all the time and you sneeze comically and then it suddenly disappears on the first day at work.

I wish I just haven't eaten too many homemade doughnuts.

Granted! You ate too few and thus starved to death.

I wish I didn't have to do so much laundry.

Granted. You joined a nudist commune so all laundry you have now are some bedsheets and towels. You feel a bit too cold all the time though.

I wish that object templates and lua scripts existed for all standart KS objects in KS Extended.

Granted. Object templates and lua scripts exist for all standard KS objects in KS Extended. However, after a terrifying near-miss incident with your umbrella later that week it becomes apparent that the customisations made also apply to all real-world counterparts of standard objects.

I wish my employers' enterprise security whitelist didn't block nifflas.lp1.nl

Granted! It doesn't block nifflas.lp1.nl anymore. It now blocks every other site.

I wish the weather would stay warmer.

Granted. It get's warmer by 0.001°C and it stays that way forever.

I wish people took light pollution more seriously and stopped using too bright lights outside that are on all night.

Granted, a small number of people who live in Morocco start taking light pollution more seriously.

I wish I could get by comfortably on 6 hours sleep a night.

Granted! You get by comfortably on 6 hours for a night.

I wish to get more plushies.

Granted. Everything you own is somehow turned into plushies.

I wish for a bowl of fresh ripe tomatoes.

Granted! They instantly spoil when you touch them.

I wish my tea was never cold unless I wanted it to be.

Granted; your tea is now either frozen or steam, according to your whim.

I wish I hadn't committed myself to do something this evening that I don't really want to do.

Granted, you were ordered to do it so at least you can't blame yourself.

I wish the map in KS extended worked just like it's described in the instructions.

Granted! The map in KS extended works exactly as described. Nothing else does though.

I wish I wasn't tired.

Granted! You are dead!

I wish Purple Ink could communicate from beyond the grave.

Granted but it's only possible through fairy lights.

I wish I was alive again.