Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted. Thanks to huge effort of physicists and other scientists the undoing of reailty before it even begins is averted. To prevent any future movies related cosmic cataclysms any prequels, sequels, spin-offs, movie universes etc. are banned under death penalty. 8+ hours movies become the norm for adaptations of book series, comics and games and these still make up the majority of blockbusters because not even the threat of death will force Hollywood to come up with original ideas.

I wish I had new pair of slippers that is the same as my old pair except it isn't worn out.

Granted. Unfortunately, that counts as a sequel to your old pair, which is banned under death penalty.

Granted. Your new pair of slippers is just like your old pair, except you can't wear it outside.

I wish Juni could be placed as a regular object, so you could have multiple Junis in one screen that you control all at once.

Granted. Unfortunately, the extra Junis counts as sequels to the original Junis, which is banned under death penalty.

Granted. But unless all Junis make every screen transition at exactly the same time, the game crashes due to trying to load multiple screens at once.

I wish buying a house was easier.

Unfortunately, buying is a sequel to renting-

Granted. Mimic houses that eat you are now available on the market for astonishingly cheap. Look out for the code phrase "great fridge".

I wish I didn't plan out my levels far in advance just to have completely different ideas once I actually work on them.

Granted, but these levels count as sequel to each other so...

Granted. You now make your levels in a single burst of creative ectasy during which you are not able to do anything else and which may last days or weeks depending on how big is that level supposed to be and you are not able to control these bursts. These levels are exactly what you intended them to be at first but it has catastrophic consequence on your life outside KS.

I wish the level Nurykabe was working on when he had drawn those default tilesets was finished and released as intended.

Granted! Unfortunately he finishes it in the year 2053, where the only version of KS available is Knytt Stories+++++, and all wacky tilesets (including Nurykabe's default tilesets) have been removed and replaced with recolors of Brown Furniture. Also, each screen takes 10 seconds to load, and opening the editor takes so much CPU that your computer explodes.

I wish there were some really cool rocks right about now.

Granted. There are. They are in the same places and just as cool as they were before you made your pointless wish.

I wish to be able to enjoy travelling again as much as I did before COVID.

Granted. Genie appears to grant you this wish but will take ability to enjoy another thing from you, so you will end up able to enjoy travelling as much as before covid but unable to enjoy tea.

I wish I haven't burnt the cake I was baking in the afternoon.

granted. your cake instead freezes and becomes so cold that it yields a negative temperature. except that actually means it's hotter than anything with a positive temperature, so uh, the world explodes or something.

i wish for a stool upon which i may strike a dignified pose and contemplate the nature of existence.

Granted. Whenever you use your stool to contemplate the nature of existence, everyone thinks you look pretentious.
And slightly abstract.

I wish my tablet would stop failing to notice when I have unplugged my headphones.

Granted. Whenever you unplug your headphones, your tablet somehow sends you real paper letter where it acknowledges you unplugging the headphones. Because the tablet has no money of its own, you as its owner have to pay for all those stamps.

I wish I had waterproof socks that are not too tight for my legs.

Granted. They are, however, too tight for your arms. Why is this of any relevance? Look at the calendar. You'll see the Global Holiday Coordinators (an organization which certifiably exists) have scheduled Walk On Your Arms Day for this Thursday. Everyone's doing it! You wouldn't want to belong to a no-fun outgroup, would you?

I wish that any time I snap my fingers, a random insect appears in front of me, and also that I could snap my fingers.

Granted. Though snapping your fingers in this instance means snapping the bones in your fingers.

I wish I was better at going to bed at a sensible time.

Granted. Getting out of bed in time becomes problem instead.

I wish I had a way how to get unseen from my house to the little lake just behind the village so no one would ask me if I really go swimming in May and how is the water and so on any more.

Granted. You got the Hologram! Unfortunately one thing leads to another and now you have to disable a machine, rescue a child from a birds' nest, and abstain from psychedelics (all at once). Thankfully your ability to swim does let you get into a few voidscreens and sequence break.

I wish wallswimming was real.