Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted; turns out zombies of all kinds don't cope well with the cold, so the Antarctic Zombie Shelter is just perfect, and it's outfitted with some really rad ice-cream makers, and supplies to last hundreds of years... Just a shame about the vampire-penguins, really.

I wish for some kind of vampire-penguin repellant.

Granted. The formula for penguin-vampire repellent exists somewhere in the world, though it is not being manufactured and you have none of it. You sigh and make another wish that closes that loophole, which results in a glob of penguin-vampire repellent appearing somewhere distant over the Pacific Ocean. You make another wish closing that loophole, which results in 1 cubic millimeter of penguin-vampire repellent appearing on your earlobe. You make another wish, resulting in you from 5 years ago suddenly being covered in penguin-vampire repellent in a way that thankfully doesn't alter the timeline, and then another wish that results in some other guy named "Talps" halfway across the planet being given penguin-vampire repellent... by the time you're fully able to recite a loophole-free wish, you find being a penguin-vampire is actually pretty awesome, but now none of the other penguin-vampires want to interact with you. Sighing, you wash off the repellent with a swim, and then gorily eat a trout.

I wish there were some sort of epic battle against the penguin-vampires and the foo-zombies that doesn't escalate to a nuclear arms race.

Granted. Epic battle against penguin vampires and foo zombies happened. No nuclear weapons were used. However in the following weeks and months 95 % of life on earth died out because of the nasty cocktail of chemical and biological weapons that was used instead.

I wish the new civilization built on the ruins of the previous one was  wiser than the old one and humans, penguin vampires and zombies could live in peace.

Granted. Unlike throughout the rest of history, this time humanity finally learns the errors of its ways and, from the wreckage of our fallen civilisation, rises one of peace and freedom, where humans, vampire-penguins and zombies of all kinds can co-exist in peace and prosperity. We repair the environment, clean up the oceans, end famine, achieve world peace, and construct a stable global economy...

...All of which leaves us unprepared for the dreaded return of the Jupiter Moon Martians!!!! Earth is invaded, its surface is strip-mined, its oceans drained, billions of humans, vampire-penguins and zombies are harvested and slaughtered to feed the invaders' gene-banks, and the survivors are enslaved and forced to labour in vast interplanetary work camps constructing terrifying and cataclysmic super-weapons to aid the egregious Jupiter Moon Martians in their unending, Gordian war with the despicable Space Egyptians!!!


I wish a benevolent intersolar alien race would come and save us from the Jupiter Moon Martians.

Granted. A moony maiden falls from the sky, after slipping on an ancient Lovecraftian banana peel, due to the much lower gravity.
Unfortunately for us, she's actually just a Moon tourist, and the only member of her civilization to be within our deep solar system.
The fall damage caused her to lose a lot of stamina, and also ripped her skirt wide open.
She now has to relearn her obscure gliding technique from ancient warrior Dondo Li: The Art of Holding S.
After several sidequests, she's finally ready for action, and reaches a space elevator. To everyone's surprise, the elevator was actually coming down, and none other than the Space Egyptians come out of it!
Before they are able to start the fight, the Moony Maiden finally drops her terrifying bombshell:
"Sorry pals, but the Moon ain't maid of green cheese."
Shocked by the revelation, they go back to the Mothership and tell everyone, including the Emperor.
Their sentient unobtainium batteries collectively have a stroke while trying to process the information. This causes the main reactor to malfunction, and the Mothership plummets to Earth and hits the Jupiter Moon Martians HQ.
After realizing the great Empire of Space Egypt has finally come to an end (for the fourth time...), one of the remaining invaders actually congratulates to the Moony Maiden and asks her to become their new leader.
She kicks the Jupiter Moon Martian in the nuts.

...However, due to the butterfly effect, some unknown planet is destroyed 100 billion years earlier than expected, and that causes countless vampire squid humanoids to unwillingly invade Earth...

I wish someone would take care of them.

Granted! The vampire squid humanoids and the inhabitants of Earth learn to overcome their differences and coexist. Discrimination exists, but so does a continually expanding group of acceptance. Who's going to "take care of them"? Well, in a world half full, the humans and vampiresquidhumanoids take care of each other now. That's so sweet.

Of course, as a by-now-probably-to-be-expected side effect, the "the Earth is destroyed N billion years earlier" joke is destroyed N billion years earlier. A placeholder variable has now become an objective constant, which messes up the timeline, mathematics, AND the fabric of space-time quite greatly. So I wish someone would tidy all that up.

Granted. It turns out that some supreme being called god exists after all and it does not like those zombie vampire penguin shenanigans ending up in shattering the entire universe. So it tidies up all this mess and then erases all the users of this formum (not only the people who participate in this game now but everyone who ever posted) from existence just to be sure we won't cause another zombie apocalypse followed by vampire apocalypse followed by Jupiter Moon Martian adpocalypse followed by some time-space mess.

I wish nobody was erased from existence and that we (and by we I mean current participants in this game) were able to turn this entire zombie saga into multi-book sci-fi series that later gets picked up by Hollywood and game industry and making us all filthy rich.

Granted. We all are overcome by greed and, all being united by Knytt Stories, decide to make even more money by commissioning and marketing kitschy novelizations of Knytt Stories levels- waaait...

I wish some eldritch deity from outside of Time would save us from this hideous time loop, which seems even to have affected lowercase-g god himself!

Granted: a Great Old One awakens and eats the universe, therefore ending the time loop, as well as everything else.


THE GREAT OLD ONE WISHES FOR A COSY PLACE TO SLEEP WHILE IT WAITS FOR A NEW UNIVERSE TO COME INTO EXISTENCE AND MATURE, READY ALSO TO BE DEVOURED

AND THUS THE GREAT OLD ONE WISHES ITSELF OUT OF EXISTENCE, FOR IN A MULTIVERSE WHERE IT DOES NOT EXIST, NO IRONIC TWIST CAN EVER INCONVENIENCE IT AGAIN.


(I guess now we wait for another universe to grow and evolve and...)


I wish for the new universe to exactly copy the one in which this game originated, with wishers and ironic twists and everything else.

Corrupt-a-Wish
« on: December 06, 2009, 16:14:59 »

Granted. In this game, you grant somebody's wish, but with an unexpected twist.  Then you make your own wish. Now then, let's begin:

I wish Saira was free.

Granted. It was free a couple days ago in Sweden. Unfortunately, they hit upon a better marketing strategy and now it's more expensive than ever.


Granted. But for the twists to be truly unexpected they must be different than in the game in the original universe. So there was once a slave called Saira, but she is free now and you still have to pay for the game.

I wish there were more walls and ceiling climbing enemies in Knytt Stories.

Granted. There are now copies of all the pellet-shooting machines, but on the walls and ceiling. The angle isn't even changed, so the ceiling and left-wall ones are basically useless.

I wish there were larger bugs where I am. They have spiders the size of your hand in rural Texas; I want that here.

Granted. This is, if course, disastrous for the local ecosystem in unpredictable ways. And all the arachnophobes and generally everyone who hates massive insects are upset. And as part of the wish fulfillment, everyone knows it was you who made this happen, which doesn't increase your popularity in the community.

I wish I'd been able to think up a corruption for Polana's last wish.