Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted. What was once a fun casual game has turned into a full-on competitive scene, with Corrupt-a-Wish tournaments promising big cash prizes popping up internationally, and different strategies start popping up left and right.  The conventional keyboard is quickly phased out, and the standard design for a "board" (as they call it now) looks something like this monstrosity. However, a mysterious corruptor known only as WSB starts rising the ranks on a legacy keyboard and mouse with his unconventional "CtrlCV" strategy, which involves selecting bits of text from the previous user's post and copy-and-pasting them to build your own corruption. This often produces confusing rubbish but is magnitudes faster than any other strategy, leading to a strange alternate board being developed that works like a mouse and has two buttons: copy, and paste, both of which double as left click buttons. Drama soon erupts when a top-level player starts using this setup and performs his corruptions simply by copy-and-pasting the previous user's corruption whole, even if it makes no sense to the actual wish. There is now a rules committee that regulates all tournament rules on when using CtrlCV can be ruled plagiarism, as well as additional rules about illegal boards (e.g. with word macro buttons).

Also, the downside of this is that the Nifforum Corrupt-A-Wish thread now gets hundreds of posts per hour, and whenever you try to post in it, there's always 2 more posts made by the time you finish what you were writing and click "Post".

I wish for my wants and needs to be sufficiently fulfilled in a straightforward manner without an ironic twist.

Granted. Your wants and needs are sufficiently fulfilled in a straightforward way for precisely four seconds, which is possibly sarcastic but definitely not ironic.

I wish to wish for something profound that people feel bad about corrupting.

Granted. You wished for world peace but I corrupted your wish anyway and didn't feel too bad about it because that's the rule of this game.

I wish websites used different way of determining who's bot and who's human than captcha codes or those photos with traffic lights etc.

Granted! They now require a DNA test which takes weeks to complete. Have fun waiting to actually use any website.

I wish DNA tests didn't take so long.

Granted, DNA tests now take mere minutes, but they can only be performed by shaving off your eyebrows.

I wish to know how to code.

Granted. You now know how to encode messages with a secret cipher that ensures they'll stay safe. You don't know how to decode them, though, so tough luck.

I wish MMF2 didn't have a self-defeating model that ensures it's ultra difficult to access the source of anything made in the Developer version 10 years later cough. KUEditor. cough

Granted, but now it's impossible to access the source of anything else.

I wish there was an easy way to give more visibility to posts (like my new templates) without feeling like shameless self-advertising.

Granted! You discover a subtle but effective method that just silently works. It's called... posting! There's about 5-10 active people anymore, so pretty much all of them will see it at some point. As an unexpected side effect, however, the Earth is destroyed 50 billion years earlier.

("KS+ Templates" is a bit of a generic title, though, and could mean about anything. You could probably name the thread something like "COMPLETE KS+ Original Object Templates" to emphasize that the objects are of the original in-game objects, to be replaced through KS+, and that Ego's version was incomplete. And yes, "original object templates" in the title rather than "OCO templates", since OCO isn't a term that's used a lot, and "Original Custom Object templates" might sound like templates for new COs you made, hence "original". Maybe don't even mention KS+ in the title, since vanilla KS level makers might also find rips of all the sprites handy. I have officially overthought this. Yay!)

I wish there was a novelization of Knytt Stories that told some of the "stories" (i.e. level plots).

Granted. Those books suck just like the movie novelizations, so no self-respecting level author would ever consent to this. Instead of novelizations of levels that actually have great plot and that people would actually like to read, we are plagued with novelizations of mediocre to bad leves whose authors don't give a damn or of levels with no plot. Nobody likes those. The bad reputation of those books even reaches the afterlife, so there is angry zombie HP Lovecraft roaming the world and looking for the poor fellow who dared to make a level out of one of short stories because he (the zombie HPL) is convinced that this level tainted his reputation and wants revenge.

I wish that whenever I go swimming to the lake in the village where I live, no one else would be there so I would have the lake entirely for myself.

Granted: the reason you have the lake to yourself is because all the other villagers have been zombified in the zombie outbreak started by Zombie HP Lovecraft.

I wish for a safe place to hide from the zombie apocalypse.

Granted. A mysterious man named Alon Dusk appears with a plan. He builds a rocket to transport everyone into space where they'll be safe from the zombies. Unfortunately this is a bad idea because humans cannot live in space very long. Everyone dies and becomes zombies.

I wish there was a safe place to hide from the space zombies.

Granted. Some other mysterious and apparently very rich old man named Barren Waffles builds underground shelter against space zombies and invites selected people to share it with him. You are not among the invited but hey, at least you are not attacked by mole zombies.

I wish there was more egalitarian safe place better equipped to fight off mole zombies.

Granted; a mysterious and very rich man named Will Yates builds a submarine city, totally safe from zombies, space zombies and mole zombies! The city is large enough to house millions, and for the sake of fairness, potential citizens are chosen by random lottery. Millions are saved! ...Or they would be, were it not for those pesky mer-zombies.

I wish for a shelter safe from zombies, space zombies, mole zombies and mer-zombies.

Granted. You withdraw from the present existence and intend to enter one where zombies, space zombies, mole zombies, and mer-zombies are not scientifically plausible, but during your gradual transcension, you look past a hypercube the wrong way and glimpse infinite-dimensional space, which causes your eternal consciousness to immediately break down attempting to process it due to being optimized for the human mind.

Just kidding! Consciousness isn't real. While you were envisioning the prior situation, you got bitten by a p-zombie, which has no notable effect different than a regular human biting you, except that the continuous experience of "you" is now broken and replaced with an entity that is identical to you in every way except that it does not experience qualia and any qualia it would experience is not directed to you, presuming that qualia ever was directed to you for more than an arbitrarily short amount of time to begin with. What a bummer!

I wish for a shelter safe from zombies, space zombies, mole zombies, mer-zombies, and p-zombies. That, or a really good ice cream taco.

Granted. There is a shelter safe from all kinds of zombies. However, it's very hot there and only ice cream available there is vanilla cornetto. There is ice cream van that offers great ice cream tacos parked in front of the shelter. The van is staffed with p-zombies who may bite you instead of paying for ice cream and thus giving you existential crisis. So you spent all your time in the shelter thinking about whether the risk of being bitten is worthy those great ice cream tacos or not.

I wish there was shelter safe against all kinds of zombies and with better choice of ice cream.