Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted. You stub your toe really hard, slightly increasing the amount of suffering in the world.

I wish I had someone who would play Animal Crossing with me (preferably someone with fruit other than oranges and cherries).

Granted. He has coconuts and bananas. New Horizons doesn't support bananas, so the save gets corrupted.

I wish I was 0 cm shorter and 15 kg heavier.

Granted. All the extra weight goes into your bones, so you look exactly the same and you get exhausted much faster because you have to move around heavier bones wits same muscle mass.

I wish I had time to read all the books I recently bought.

Granted. You lose your job, or otherwise get rejected from whatever gainful thing occupies your time, giving you plenty of time for reading.

I wish the ending of the latest Bond film hadn't been spoiled for me before I saw it.

Granted. You watched the film earlier, so you weren't spoiled. Specifically, you watched it one night while you were in your pajamas after being unpleasantly woken from your sleep at 4AM.

I wish there was a sitcom starring camels.

Granted. It's live-action and heavily dialogue-based, complete with camel noises as laugh tracks. People don't speak camelian though, so the audience gets really confused. It becomes a cult due to the sole fact nobody knows the actual plot, so it's open to interpretation.

I wish Juni found out the password of Gustav's router.

Granted. She can't figure out what it is with hacking alone, so she decides to trick Gustav into giving her his password... except it turns out Gustav forgot his password and asks Juni to go on an epic fetch quest to find out what it is. She complies, leading to the epic Gustav's Wi-Fi Password. It gets cut short during the battle with the underwater technocultists for the third and final keycard to access the secret detector, because Gustav calls and tells Juni it was written on the side of the router all along. Critics are then disappointed by the much shorter follow-up Gustav's Dope Slap.

I wish Gustav's Dope Slap was a real thing.

Granted. While Gustav's Dope Slap was quite disappointing as a part of series, it wasn't too bad on it's own. However, lack of praise pushed it's author away from making more KS levels.

I wish our planet was getting colder instead of getting warmer.

Granted. We extinguish the sun. There are many benefits to this scenario.

I wish the website that I linked to in that corruption was still being updated.

Granted. It becomes so popular that Valve makes a cursed third Portal game with test chambers that are loosely based on various what ifs from the site. However, the community gets splitted between fans who wanted a Portal 3, and fans who are faithful to the "Valve duology rule". A civil war ensues.

I wish it wasn't 5AM right now.

Granted. It's 4:59:59AM forever.

I wish I didn't forget that I bought some grapefruits two weeks ago and had eaten them before ther spoilt.

Granted, but now I want grapefruit. I am inspired to make a KS level which is a bad Tomatoes sequel called Grapefruits, which leads to me falling out with Vegetal Gibber. You feel mildly guilty about this.


I wish I hadn't tested positive for COVID just when I had a week off work.

I wish I hadn't tested positive for COVID just when I had a week off work.

Granted. Test came back negative! You just come down with explosive diarrhea for the entire week instead.

I am inspired to make a KS level which is a bad Tomatoes sequel called Grapefruits

DO IT  DO IT  DO IT  DO IT, come to the dark side, it's beautiful in here!  I mean... I wish for a grapefruit-themed KS level!

Granted. It's invisible maze with invisible death blocks over grapefruit background.

I wish the laptop I am using right now had keyboard better suited for playing Knytt Stories.

Granted. It instead has only ctrl, WASD and arrow keys, making it useless for actual typing.

(Just to say, my symptoms are pretty mild, no more than a nasty cold. I'm so grateful for my vaccines!)

I wish Veg would make a grapefruit tileset that I could use for making Polana's invisible death maze level.