Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted, Knytt Stories 2 is released. But! But but but. It doesn't feature a level editor nor any support for user-generated content at all. Instead, all the levels are predefined and need to be purchased from the game's own online shop for $20 each. The only one that's free is "Xeia Remastered - No Save Points edition".

I wish I could turn into a ball at will and just roll to get to places. I don't like walking, y'see.

Granted. Problem is, you transform into an actually normal ball, and not one with eyes and a mouth. There's also the minor detail that transforming into a ball is a process that takes about two hours, in the middle of which you're an abomination with rubber skin and no mouth. You also have to shed your internal organs, muscle fibers, and bodily fluids. And it activates whenever you even think about round objects. Even more horrifically, you do gain clothes when you transform back from ball to human, but they're extremely tacky clothes that would make passersby think you were a disco star who just stepped out of a cryogenic capsule and/or a social reject who stole the contents of a bargain bin thinking they were valuable fashion items and/or a bumbling dork who can't dress himself and/or a nifforum user (gasp!) and/or all of those at once. Oh, and while you were reading this paragraph, I stole your car.

I wish something that cannot backfire and has an objectively positive effect.

Granted: I get a pay-rise. Thanks!

I wish someone (other than me) would make the ending cutscene for the LPChip-themed community level that's been preying on my mind for years now.

Granted, I make the damn thing myself so it gets finished finally... but because I make something that is supposed to be a surprise for MEEEEEE, I ruin the surprise... Oh bummer...

I wish I could open a door in my body and let any unwanted feelings or emotions out and possibly even put pleasant feelings or emotions back.

You may choose one from the following!




I wish I had a pet dragon! Preferably one that won't set me on fire nor bite off my face.

Granted; you are transported to a magical fantasy land where you are an evil wizard with a pet dragon. All the power and tyranny is fun right now but all those pesky heroes just won't leave you alone... and it'll only take one to get lucky.


I wish one of those brave local heroes would get lucky and bring an end to the oppressive dominion of the dread wizard, Evil Lord Vegetal Gibber.

Granted. But upon making your wish, it comes to your attention that the heroes of the tomatoey kingdom have all passed away or moved a few states over, and its current inhabitants are too chickenshtick to even dream about fighting an evil wizard monarch. Unfazed, you grab your best white shiny sword and set out to slay VG yourself. This is what happened next.

I wish for a pony!

This is what happened next.

Oh man, you corrupted my wish by making it a million times more awesome than I could have ever imagined! 


Um, er, I only posted to say that... oh snap... uh...
...Granted... but... you... get... diabetes?

Diabetes of... the... PANCREAS!!!

(That's... um... that's the worst kind, by the way...)

Oh, and... your pony has a horn which makes everyone think it's a unicorn and every time you take it anywhere you are hounded by scores of little girls!!

(Phew.)


I wish for, um, soup? Yeah. Mushroom soup!


(Seriously, thank you: day = made! )

Quote from: canteven on September 16, 2019, 04:57:25

This is what happened next.

(Seriously, thank you: day = made! )

Glad you enjoyed it! This level was made purely on impulse, although maybe subconsciously I was trying to spoof Dragon Myth. If I'm feeling extra impulsive, I might even make a sequel (Vegetal Gibber vs Talps). And maybe LPChip 100 Star Level will be out by then, and people will actually understand the spoilery jokes in the original.

I wish for, um, soup? Yeah. Mushroom soup!

Granted. But since you failed to specify how much soup you wanted, and where, I'm afraid it might be time to get in the fallout shelter before the storm crashes down, and maybe bring enough supplies to last you three months. No problem, I'm sure the people you're bunking with will be friendly enough. Let's see... Kleptomaniac Kelly, the Zodiac Killer, guy who breathes and exhales mustard gas... wonderful people, really.

I wish a large generic wad of cash would suddenly appear right in front of me that I can do whatever I want with.

Granted. You downloaded a new Doom 1 level called cash.wad. It appears right in front of you on your screen and you can do whatever you want with it, such as playing it. Unfortunately, its a pre-alpha version, and all you get in the level is that it appears as a 1 dollar bill. No enemies even... The level itself is very much out of proportions even, but the author stated that they were looking into shrinking it down lateron. Honestly, if you ask me, the E1M1 level looks 50 times better than this one even.

I wish I downloaded the most cool and insane Doom 1 level that exists to play it and be amazed by how awesome it is.

Granted. It is literally the most insane, and it renders you a mindless worshiper of the arcane eldritch entity that created and sent it into our dimension. However, it was still the most cool, so at least you enjoyed it.

I wish I had Juni's high-jump and double-jump abilities, and of course the ability to handle hitting the ground/ceiling/walls at a high speed.

Oh, I can't refuse this one...

Granted. You now magically have the high jump and double-jump abilities Juni has and you can also jump down really far and survive as well as hitting the ceiling and walls etc.

That said, you often misjudge your new jumping abilities, and a lot of times as you jump you bump your head into the ceiling hard. You survive just fine, but you always have a headache afterwards.

Also, you nave shrunken to about 50 times your previous size in order to facilitate these new powers.


I wish I could shoot light out of my hands as if I had super powers.

Quote from: Talps on September 16, 2019, 19:27:25

Quote from: canteven on September 16, 2019, 04:57:25

This is what happened next.

(Seriously, thank you: day = made! )

I concur. Also, I didn't expect to ever see my tomato tileset being used by someone else in an actual level That was pretty amazing. Thank you for the homage and have this in exchange for the good laughs!

You know, maybe I should come here for ideas for levels more often. Maybe we could put all the Space Egyptians / Jupiter Moon Martians lore here to good use...

I wish I could shoot light out of my hands as if I had super powers.

Granted, you now have the ability to shoot a mildly powerful light beam from the palm of your hand! However, the ability can only be triggered by clapping, and the beam stops firing as soon as your hands separate.

I wish there were collectible golden coins, creatures and artifacts scattered through the city.

Granted: You can collect the coins by withdrawing them from the bank, collect the creatures by purchasing them in pet shops, and collect the artefacts by robbing museums and private collections.


I wish instead of Brexit, we (the people of the UK) had all just been voting for Breakfast, as that would be less contentious and I would probably be getting something I actually want out of it, and it would be less likely to end badly.

Granted. The people of the University of Kentucky vote on what you, the people of the other UK, should have for breakfast. And they really like floppy unbuttered wheat toast, for some reason.

I wish to do all of the cool stuff.