Corrupt-a-Wish

You can... but once you start you can't stop.

I wish for more excitement in my life, without things getting out of hand.

Granted. Everything you touch turns into gold. But there's a side effect. The moment you touch it, it gets stuck on you. Given the first thing you used was your hands, it'll never get out of your hand anymore.

I wish to have startrek's food replicator, so I can create/destroy dishes  on the fly at my choosing.

Granted, but it can only create dishes. As in, the things food is served on/in, not the actual food itself.

I wish i was allowed to bring up my postcount.

Granted. Nifflas' Games is bought up by EA. They merge the Nifforums into their own support forum, where talking about postcount is allowed by their rules, but which are draconian otherwise. Getting banned for no reason will be a regular occurrence.

I wish for some truly memorable times for the next two weeks!

Granted!
The horrors of the next two weeks will haunt your nightmares for the rest of your life.

I wish someone would give me an Easter egg at Easter - a chocolate one, not containing any diseases or anything wierd like that.

Granted. On some random day, you participate in some random easter contest, and guess what, you've won!!!

On easter, the door rings and there's a man standing outside and police everywhere. The man tells you you've won the contest and is here to deliver your price. The police are just the escort. You look to the side and you find this really huge box. And by huge, I mean, it was broght to you on an ultra wide truck of 10 meters long and 3 meters wide using special transport, and the height of the package is another 3 meters. It appears that inside the package is a 3x3x10 meter chocolate egg, made of pure chocolate. The thing weights over 400 kilos. They place the huge box on the porch and take off.

The egg is way to huge to even enjoy it, but hey, its yours, and its real!


I wish Microsoft was not so retarded to give me a huge notification on my old XP machine that Microsoft Security Essentials is at risk because they stopped support for it. am upgrading to 7 anyway, but this is just wrong!

Granted, but Microsoft now outright wastes manpower by having at least 30 specialized support personnel per OS, for every single OS in existence, ranging from almost unanimously-used things like Windows 7 and 8, to things older than Windows 98, to really obscure non-Microsoft ones like Haiku, to even the startup menus of Nintendo consoles.

I wish my new computer was more like my old one in terms of shape (it's a laptop), keyboard, and all that.

(On an unrelated note, yesterday i started a nation in NationStates which is called Mer Arica. I hope you don't mind, LPChip.)

Granted, your old computer is completely like the old one, but has illegal MS Windows.

I wish I didn't forget to pay the doctor today.

You overpaid him instead - he was so grateful that he took you on a journey, and after many adventures you were tragically shot by a dalek.

I wish my new headphones, which work fine with my DS, my work computer, and basically everything else, didn't hate my laptop and bombard me with static whenever I put them together. (WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN?!?!)

your old computer is completely like the old one,

How an object can not resemble itself is beyond me.

---

Granted, but before you are able to try them out, you are turned into a Dalek, and would eventually go on to kill CWolvie.

Also, i had a similar problem (left side made no sound) with my old laptop, and i believe it to be the audio jack's fault.

I wish you can only truly help other people by allowing them to fail.

You allow me to fail to avoid turning into a dalek, which helps me to shoot you and steal all your stuff.

I wish I had all of Straightflame's stuff.

Granted, but now everything that isn't mine is completely like everything that isn't mine.

I wish i could figure out on my own that "talps" is "splat" backwards.

Granted. You dismiss it as a funny coincidence, though. (Sidenote: this actually happened to me with the Scottish comic artist Frank Quitely. Can you discover the hidden pun in his (pen)name?)

I wish I weren't so frickin' sick right now.

"Quite frankly". That was about as easy to figure out as the names in the Ace Attorney games. And they have names like Frank Sahwit, Luke Atmey, Jack Hammer, April May, Deid Mann, etc.

Granted, you are "so frickin' sick" later today. And you will stay sick for longer than you would have for absolutely no reason.

I wish there was a YouTube Poop of The Stanley Parable.

Granted, but the screen will be completely black until you eat fresh brain of a big ugly dinosaur.

I wish everyone could fail except me.

How an object can not resemble itself is beyond me.

  Errr...I was wrong. I see it now...I ment your new computer,_{but hey, don't blame me or kill me (Talps!), nobody is perfect, right?}