Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted. You can now play all classes well but suffer three seconds of lag on any machine you play on.

I wish to paint my lecturer's bald head bright green with acrylic paint and get away with it. (It's coursework week. )

You notice your lecturer has dozed off in the staff room so you sneak in and commit the deed. No one sees you. As it happens, the blame falls on one of your best friends, who is expelled. No one knows it was you; you'll just have to live with your guilt.

I wish for more Doctor Who to be made, without it declining in quality, whilst maintaining my ability to watch and enjoy it.

Granted. The fact that you must use subtitles, as you are now completely deaf, does not significantly reduce your enjoyment of the show.

I wish to have the power to make suggestions (mirroring the D&D 3.5 spell Mass Suggestion as cast by a 20th level Wizard), to have the knowledge and ability to do so, and to use it when and only when I intend to.

Granted, but the people influenced by your suggestions get fired for incompetence quite often. And it's your fault.

I wish that TF2 Jailbreak server i like never had any freekillers.
(Jailbreak is a gamemode where you may only kill players in certain situations, and "freekillers" are people who break that rule in favor of getting a lot of kills or getting revenge on a certain player. Also, the reason why i don't go on a decent server or one in GMod is because i like the way things work on that particular server.)

Granted. A new automated moderation system instantly boots any freekillers on that server. Unfortunately, it seems it's not programmed very well, as it boots off many legitimate players too, yourself included.

I wish my internet would stop cutting in and out.

Your internet cuts out, then stops.

I wish that the KS competition I've launched will go really well, with lots of good entries.

The competition receives 13,218 entries. Realising you have to choose between judging them or living an ordinary life, you relectuntly post that a winner cannot be determined. Because of this, a new competition is never created; yours is the last of all time.

I wish I could finish my tileset.

Granted. Unfortunately, a group of the tiles looks embarrassingly phallic. Before you can edit it and save face, some jerk posts it on 4chan, making it perhaps the only Knytt Stories tileset to go viral.

I wish I could stick to a regular sleep schedule.

Granted. You now sleep precisely three hours a day, between the hours of 9am and noon, on every weekday, with no sleep at all on weekends.

I wish to have an HPMoR Time-Turner that functions normally for me and to be allowed to keep and use it. (If you've not read HPMoR, go and do so, NOW.)

You have one; the first time you use it you accidentally cross paths with yourself, creating a paradox in which you and yourself are sucked through a tear in the fabric of reality and crushed into a singularity. The tear you made in the universe remains a source of strange events, so the military build a base over it, spawning an outbreak of area-51-esque conspiracy theories.

Also, I have no idea what MoR stands for; the Time Turner appears in the Prisoner of Azkaban.


I wish my office was always a comfortable temperature, instead of being too cold in winter and too hot in summer.

Granted. Your office is deep underwater now but because of absence of an oxygen you'll choke to death and nobody will find you because sharks will swallow you.

I wish the employer which I found and responded to it had good manners because he didn't respond me back yet.

Granted. They will answer your application soon. Unfortunately, they won't employ you.
I wish I had worked harder during this winter semester.

Granted. you have worked harder. Very much harder indeed. You have worked through half the book. Only you found out that it is actually the book from last year.

I wish my neighbor was done with his construction work.

You neighbour's construction work comes to a sudden end when his house collapses, accidentally knocking down your house in the process. You're fine, but all your stuff was in there!

I wish I could have more day off work over Christmas.

Granted. Your boss lets you take the rest of the year off, with the stipulation that you can't take any vacation time next year.

I wish I could think up better wish corruptions.