Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted. A colleague plays a prank on you and empties the entire content of the salt and pepper mills on your sandwich when you're not watching. To them its very exciting to watch you squirm when you take the first bite. Oh and just because I can, I on purposely created a problem in the water reservoir, and all other things you can drink suddenly have vanished.... for an hour or two. So you won't be able to rince your mouth for that long having that burning and awefule taste in your mouth.

I wish for a  big quantity of clay-like substance that I can mold into any desired shape I want, which will instantly harden when I shine it with an ultra-voilet light.

Granted. You'll be taken to a planet full of such substance. You can even take a solarium with you to harden it. Let's see if you manage to use it. Absence of atmosphere suggests that you'll die before you can do so.

I wish I never had problems with sleep.

Granted. You now sleep precisely the appropriate amount and at the usual time for someone of your birthdate, geographical position and state of health. Unfortunately, that means you never sleep at all due to being dead.

I wish I for the power to predict the future states of chaotic and emergent systems with near-certainty, regardless of size, from only the information I might reasonably require and in a reasonable space of time (using my present conception of what is "reasonable"). This ability would not determine the future; that is, it would only predict what a very, very fast computer with extremely precise, accurate knowledge of the initial state could predict, rather than forcing the future to match my predictions. it would also not impede my functionality in other ways, so that I would remain capable of acting on my predictions. (For reference, financial markets, global weather patterns, the effects of climate change and politics and are all chaotic: they are all mostly non-random, as quantum effects are negligible, but display behaviour that cannot be predicted without knowing their initial states with great precision. They are also emergent: there is no easy way to predict the outcome in advance other than simulating the system precisely and at a faster rate.)

Instead of becoming wounded you take hitpoint damage. This means that broken bones are a thing of the past; you can get hit by a car without any debilitating effects. It does also mean that every bruise, cut and graze does notable damage to your hitpoints and, of course, you don't heal overtime. Scientists are working hard to create health potions but at the moment they're very rare and cost a lot of gold; you're best bet is to kill animals and eat their hearts.
It's alarming how quickly those minor injuries are adding up.

This is one of the best corruptions yet; I'm still sniggering. It reminded me of this: http://www.rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2011-02-28

Granted, but you don't know how to predict things.

I wish people wouldn't consider Herobrine to be some sort of superpowered serial killer.

Granted. Now Minecraft doesn't exist and people consider Herobrine to be a co-founder of Google.

I wish George W. Bush was a woman and Angela Merkel a man.

Granted. The definition of a man and a woman have now been swapped.

That includes that if you are a man, you are now a woman, and if you are a woman, you are now a man.
Everyone is now, so basically nothing changed, but at the same time everything changed.


I wish to win a big price in the upcoming lottery.

Congratulations: you win a big price; you now cost £1,000,000 (I was gonna do Euros but I don't have them on this keyboard). Sadly, you don't win a prize.

I wish I didn't feel so guilty for corrupting LPChip's wish because of a language error.

Granted. You go to bed and you start dreaming. You dream that you are this soldier who has to conquer the whole world. You go to a store to buy some guns and you start shooting everyone. When people are not shooting back, you realize you are not actually dreaming, but are fully awake.

You just killed about 150 innocent people and now you really feel guilty about doing that. like 50 times more guilty than you felt for not having the € sign on your keyboard (which is alt-0137 btw)


I wish I could point a light into the sky and then all clouds at that location move to the sides, creating a nice hole through the coulddeck, where the sun coiuld shine through.

Granted. The light exists now, but you don't have it or know where it is. And so begins your quest to find the light that you point at the sky to make clouds magically move.

I wish a lot more wishes as elaborate and long as Chrysophylax' last wish came up in this thread. It was rather fun trying to find a loophole in that wish.

Lots more long, elaborate wishes are wished. While this entertains you to no end, it actually annoys a great many people and drives them off. Additionally, writing long, elaborate wishes becomes so time-consuming that the people making them don't have time to post here and are also driven off. In the end you're the only person left, endlessly making your long, elaborate wishes and then picking apart your own logic, all alone, for ever and ever and ever and ever...


I wish this wish was shorter.

Granted. You are now the most selfish person on earth, because all you can say is "I".

I wish it only took one snap of my fingers to know unity inside-out.

I! I I I I I I, I I I I I.


I I I I I I I I I.

Granted, you you you, you you you. But because you you you, you you you you, you you you and you you you. Then you horribly die.

I wish the sky was green and the grass was blue on aprils fool day, just so I can prank everyone by saying nothing changed.

Granted. The sky appears green and the grass appears blue all the time now because of horrendous chemical pollution and radioactivity. Expected lifetimes drop by twenty years in the developed world. Two billion people die of disease and starvation as food becomes inedible.

I wish that I had just had a prestigious maths journal publish a paper, exclusively by me, containing a flawless constructive proof that P=NP. (That is, it must contain a method like Godel numbering that converts any problem not solvable in polynomial time [finding the prime factors of a number, the task that makes brute-forcing public-key cryptograms effectively impossible, for example] into a logically equivalent problem solvable in polynomial time.) I must understand the proof and receive full credit and recognition for it, and it must be the first such paper published.

You know, just one of those was fine, even for me.

The goal isn't to make a "foolproof" wish that is impossible to corrupt.  Not only do such wishes have the potential to ruin the game, but they also tend to be quite bland, both in the wish itself and in how its corrupted.  Believe me, it's nothing we all haven't seen before.

Anyways, granted. You don't get a reward for it and people don't believe it, however.

I wish i didn't have any of the things i hate about having autism, but would still keep the things i like about it.