Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted. Your future corruptions are honest and upstanding citizens. Every time you post a new one, you can feel them watching you, judging you for the corrupt, reeking, fetid swamp that is your innermost being. They insist on dragging you along to their happy-clappy sing-alongs at the youth club, forcing you to play the tambourine. Your friends becoming increasingly unwilling to be seen with you.

I wish that one of my future corruptions could become a congresspost. (I would not be surprised if it had the highest approval rating in the House - how many congressmen never give bad speeches, break campaign promises or support laws you don't like? It would probably be considered a more effective legislator, too.)

Granted. Your corruption goes through and counters the corruption of the western world; the world becomes a happy place of justice and equality; the energy crisis is solved, third world debt abolished and the moon colonised. Best of all, everyone knows it's your doing and you become a world-wide hero.
Naturally you're shot through the heart the very next time you go out in public.



I wish the previous wish had not been so painfully... American.

Granted. The continent America is named to Mer Arican, people there are now Mer aricans. So your work is not so painfully American anymore, but rather Mer Arican.

Disclaimer: This post is ment as fun, and should not be taken personally or literally. If I have offended you in some way, I'm sorry.

I wish money did not exist.

Money no longer exists. There is no agreed medium of exchange, no common system of valuation, no liquid store of value. The world economy collapses completely as contracts are broken and workers go unpaid. It never recovers. Society falls apart. Knowledge is lost on an immense scale. Much of the world's population starves or dies of disease. Within two generations, humanity has everywhere fallen back to subsistence farming, with only a few groups retaining useful amounts of knowledge. You are responsible for the downfall of mankind.

I wish that I didn't need to sleep and could intellectually function at my peak level without tiring.

Granted. However, this severely cuts your remaining lifespan.

I wish that I could make a couple of good, well-balanced Pokémon crad decks.

Granted, but then a bully steals it, and you can't get it back.

I wish I could go trick-or-treating again.

Granted. You fell into a Halloween time loop, so you will be going trick-or-treating again and again and again...you will know about it and it will drive you mad.
I wish for greenhouse where I can grow my Cacti and Euphorbiae.

Granted. A greenhouse appears in your garden and you put all your plants in it. Unfortunately you go out on Halloween, wake up late and so don't look at it until Friday evening. The eggs that were thrown at it as a trick have quietly fried onto the hot glass and will take days to scrape off.

I wish I had a much more powerful laptop with more memory and a really fast unlimited broadband connection.


Off topic:

I wish that I could make a couple of good, well-balanced Pokémon crad decks.

Which release are you building with and what kind of decks are you trying to compete against? There are guides on GameFAQs for the Pokemon Trading Card Game gameboy game which give guidance on strategy and building 1st-gen decks, and there are probably up-to-date guides for the recent sets.

Granted. You're being given this really fast and awesome laptop that is the ultra fastest and has like 24 gigs of RAM. In addition you have this really ultra fast unlimited broadband connection. The problem is that  this broadband connection has a really weird connector and short cable. It only fits in your brand new laptop. And that brand new laptop weights over 24 kilos, so it is not really portable. Due to the short cable and the heavy laptop it has to sit on the floor in the corner of your house which makes it really unpractical to use.

I wish I found a good distributor for my next CD.

Granted. You find a person who pretends to be TRUE distributor but only thing he wants is copy your CD, use it as his own and sell it.

I wish I could be beautiful.

Granted. You become a beautiful little mouse.
I wish I was able to use my time more effectively.

Granted. A greenhouse appears in your garden and you put all your plants in it. Unfortunately you go out on Halloween, wake up late and so don't look at it until Friday evening. The eggs that were thrown at it as a trick have quietly fried onto the hot glass and will take days to scrape off.

Fortunately, we don't celebrate Halloween in my country. However, some even more terrible things can happen on Easters.

Wish Granted! You now own a radioactive time travel device. Be careful with it.

I wish to continue being as happy as I am now. (not always and forever!)

Granted. You're now a clown performing in a circus. Because I can, you will always remain a clown.

I wish I didn't have to work anymore.

Granted. You are 100 years old now and you are retired.
I wish I was not hungry now.

You weren't hungry then. You're hungry now instead.

I wish I didn't keep tying 'Polana' when I mean 'Plural'.