Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted, but pandora is a doomed planet.

I wish people would stop this thing with KSP.

granted. but now people have started up with the KPP and its become 10x more annoying.

i wish all the shoes in the world were free.

Granted, but all the freedom the shoes have will include the right to refuse humans trying to put their feet in them.

I wish for everything that has been wished, ever.

Granted, you get every wish in a random order. You get invisible ice cream. There's gum on the roof of your house. The last wish granted is that "all wishes before this one made by me would have never happened".

I wish I could go to sleep.

Granted, but you have to sleep on a puddle of lava.

I wish i never found out that Firecat's real name is Francisco Gabriel.

Granted. Enjoy being the subject of all the jokes on the Internet because your so famous.

I wish to live in the town Nifflas lives in.

Granted, but that town got raided by Nazi-zombies, killing all of it's inhabitants.

I wish a leader of a terrorist front was replaced with dr. cliche.

Granted, but that town got raided by Nazi-zombies, killing all of it's inhabitants.

Godwin's law.

---

Granted, but then they freeze the world.
And they popped the blue ball!

I wish I had more time to do stuff.

Granted, you are abducted by a child molester, now you have all the time in the world to please him sexually.
(I went there.)

I wish I could jump really high.

Granted, but you hit a blimp that has spikes all over it with your head.

I wish i never saw this article about South-Korean dogs. It's so sad that i decided to translate it in the worstest way i could, just so you can sleep at night 'n' stuff without thinking about those poor dogs...

Granted. Enjoy having to be blind and having a house stuffed with those dogs. 

I wish for aliens to abduct me. (really, I do!)

Granted. Only they're the human experimentation dissecting kind of aliens.

I wish this wish would never come true.

Granted.





...I'll leave you to destroy your mind think over that.



I wish the NICE kind of alien abducted me.

Granted, but exactly 5 seconds after leaving the earth the spaceship were the nice aliens were got destroyed by the spaceship destroyer kind of alien.

I wish for 30 bottles of Nuka-Cola Quantum.

You am ka-sploded stomach.

I can haz a c@?