Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted, you get the USB keyboard bra. But then, when you try to convince a girl to wear it, she slaps you so hard your eyes fall out of their sockets.

I wish I could combine random items to make kick-ass equipment (e.g: dirty shoes + cheap pendants = magic helmet +10 resistant to fire!)

Here's the answer I was going to post for Yukabacera's wish, just for kicks:

Granted, but they can only lower your stats, and you don't know that so you keep doing it. And in the end, you wear all of them. +10 Pwnyness.

I wish i knew what life in the USA is like.

Granted. You teleport to the states, but accidentally you also travel back in time. Now you'll find out what life in the USA is like...during the Great Depression. Whoa Nelly!

I wish TVtropes didn't ruin my life.

=|=

Granted, it instead ruins the lives of everyone around you.

I wish that YouTube extended it's 11-minute time limit.

Granted, now you can upload videos up to 9001 minutes. but you have to pay 25 dollars for every minute you upload.

I wish i were not so adicted to Audiosurf.

Granted, but now you're surfing on some rather bogus audio!

I wish I could make some wickedly good progress on a fancomic!

Granted, but everyone despises the comic.

I wish people liked NESgamer's fancomic.

Granted. NESgamer discards his original idea and decides to make fun of you in every strip. Everyone loves the comic now. Also, your popularity with the ladies hits rock bottom.

I wish Spain would lose all their matches in the South Africa Fifa World Cup. I'm sick of hearing about soccer all the time.

Granted, but everybody hates you for wishing this, and they decide to EXPLOADZORZ!!! you.

I wish Admiral Island wasn't ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!!1!1!!ONE!!'d all the time. Once in awhile is fun, but...

Granted, now it is only like that 99.99% of the time.

I wish for an idea of something to wish for.

Granted; you just used it in your previous post.

I wish my glasses didn't have scratches all over the lenses.

Granted; you just used it in your previous post.

I wish my glasses didn't have scratches all over the lenses.

Granted, but now your eyes need a new set of glasses.

I wish I could learn to draw better!  (I'm reduced to simple pixel art for my drawing really, and I'm having some tough times in my personal projects, but I digress...  that'd be going off topic)

Granted, you have amazing drawing skills, but are now paralyzed from your wrists to your fingertips.

I wish my grape soda was downstairs instead of upstairs right now.

Granted. Your soda falls down the stairs.

I wish that Raocow's cat didn't die today. ;_;

Granted, he died yesterday.

I wish that this post was teal.