Corrupt-a-Wish

This is on its way to becoming a flame war.  Though we have things to say about it, this discussion is not going to benefit anybody, and I ask that we please move on.


I'll start us back up with a wish:

I wish I was a kitty cat.

Granted. Enjoy your #1 place on the most-wanted list of China's cat meat market.

I wish I made an awesome game.

Granted, your game is awesome, the entire 2 seconds of gameplay.

I wish I could teleport myself to work.

Granted. But as you work, the knights who say wat comes and beats you up for discriminating female homosexuals.

I wish LPChip would unlock that topic and explain himself, or this might become another "Drakkan incident"

Granted. But it misscalculates the coordinates and your telepath ends in a wall causing... oh damn you LimeLemon! Get off!

I wish LPChip would unlock that topic and explain himself, or this might become another "Drakkan incident"

Granted. The topic is filled with pointless flaming that leads nowhere because the issue has already been resolved.

I wish I had a huge top hat.

Granted, but a giant bunny comes out of it and eats it.

I wish my Wii "Sensor" Bar cable didn't look so delicious to cats.

Granted, Just after they completely chew it off XP

I wish that my computer didnt crash when using adobe flash player 

Granted, Just after they completely chew it off XP

I wish that my computer didnt crash when using adobe flash player  

Granted, but your computer now crashes when running any other program.

I wish LimeLemon would shut up about what LPChip said. Don't corrput, plz.

Granted, but he won't because apparently LPChip has committed the Holocaust of forum crimes by pointing out that he doesn't like the word, and many users apparently just really like the word "wat" and feel that it needs to be defended, because it can't stick up for itself and needs moral support and maybe a hallmark card to cheer it up.

Granted, but the forum explodes for no apparent reason and in it's place is this.
or this. (where is that music coming from and how is it different every time i open the page? its black magic)
edit: here's the designers for that page. this made me laugh.

...I wish all fruitcake magically turned into a pile of money. Or not magically. Your choice.
so my grandma's gifts would suck 100% less.

Granted. But as you work, the knights who say wat comes and beats you up for discriminating female homosexuals.

are these knights women or just very feminine men?  
either way this story isn't really working for me

Granted, but he won't because apparently LPChip has committed the Holocaust of forum crimes by pointing out that he doesn't like the word, and many users apparently just really like the word "wat" and feel that it needs to be defended, because it can't stick up for itself and needs moral support and maybe a hallmark card to cheer it up.  

Uhh....then that's not granted. Reread it.

...I wish all fruitcake magically turned into a pile of money. Or not magically. Your choice.
so my grandma's gifts would suck 100% less.

Granted. Every fruitcake your grandma gives you logically turns into a pile of monopoly money. It sucks 100% less... on game night!

I wish double stuffed oreos really did have two times the stuffing of cream that regular oreos do.

Granted.  Double Stuff Oreos are now inverted Oreos; they have one cookie in the middle, sandwiched by two layers of cream on the outside.
(Unfortunately, most of the cream wipes off inside of the bag, and hardens like glue to prevent you from opening the bag.)

I wish I could swim without plugging my nose, because I must look pathetic.

Granted, but you must now stick your hand in your mouth.

I wish for rubber bands.

Granted.  A saxophonist, a cellist, a drummer, a guitarist, and a pianist, all with rubber instruments.  They must sound, erm, fantastic.

I wish for world peace.