Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted, but it's not as good as the PC version so you don't get the full experience.

I wish I could attack demons posing as gods without the townspeople mobbing me and slowly killing me.

Granted, but the townspeople slowly kill you without mobbing. Always remember i'm clever.

I wish i knew why i keep forgetting to capitalize the noun 'i', and why Firecat misspells the word 'is' (he puts a T between I and S) some/most/all the time.

and why Firecat misspells the word 'is' (he puts a T between I and S) some/most/all the time.

Granted, its because "i" wants to be [i] and [i] itsn't capitalized. So doesn't want to be capitalized and asks to "Its" help.

I wish that itstory actually did made sense.

It's just a wish. You don't need to overreact and place a t between every 'is' you type in your response and your wish. Also, what's the corruption?

Granted, its...

Forgot the apostrophe.

Forgot it on purpose. 

Granted, but... wait. Wait, no.

I wish my nose wasn't so stuffy.

Granted. We trade noses. Y'see, before our trade, i have an even stuffier nose. So stuffy i couldn't breathe. On top of that, i had hay fever.

I wishouidfnhgiojsdnhjesdkojnhdpsnjs
pdnpfosnmthjionmhopdistnhiopndhiopfnmaopdihnmo
pdfznhpodnhfindifunhidsdfosnudfuio
nundhsuioh
blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Granted, but a murderer is sent back in time to when you typed your wish, and s/he kills you before you can finish typinng your sentence. Now nobody will ever know what your wish was, are you happy now?

I wish I could breathe underwater. That's be pretty neat...

Granted, but your new nose stays as stuffed as it is now.

I wish my Objection! forum game was awesome.

Granted, but nobody visits it, making substantially less awesome.

I wish I could get tired when it's nearly time for me to go to bed (so I don't end up awake 'till four in the morning ).

Sure. You start falling asleep erlier and don't notice the murderer coming in your window that kill you.

I wish I could fly 

Granted, but you forgot to read ''Know Your Wings''. You try to fly, and then it's all painful scenes until you die because there is no oxygen on planet Emosewasiemalfthgiarts.

I wish i lived on planet Ssaskcikarecabakuy.

Granted, but since nobody else has any knowledge of the planet's existence, you live a lonely life until dying a (possibly) long and painful death from starvation/the harsh environment/being eaten alive/etc.

I wish I had some delicious cotton candy.

Granted, but then you see said planets' names contain a subliminal message, and you decide to poison your cotton candy after you know what the subliminal messages are.

I wish there was a planet named Sllabruasonidgibskcusregrusgnignis.