Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted, it's a black helmet on a red background... made in MSPaint using the spray tool.

I wish i belonged to the Plantae kingdom, the Magnoliophyta division, the Magnoliopsida class, the Rosales order, the Rosaceae family, the Maloideae subfamily, the Maleae tribe and the Malus genus.

Granted. The fact that you are secretly an apple is revealed to the whole world.

I wish I could glue glue to glue. (try saying "glue glue to glue" three times fast)

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Granted, but the glue glues glued-to-glue glue to your face (try saying ''glue glues glued-to-glue glue to your face'' three times fast)

I wish i could eat apples while i'm still an apple.

Granted, but alas, apple society condemns you as a cannibal fruit, and as such, your punishment is canning!  Ouch.

I wish to have an animated avvy from Bio menace.  (See Lizzaroro's avvy, that I like oh so much, despite being the deadliest enemy in its game)

Granted, but it magically leaps out of the http://nifflas.lpchip.nl/index.php?action=profile to eat your you-know-what.

I wish i was a human being again.

I will wish i wasn't 'Canned StraightFlame - Best thing since sliced StraightFlame' next time, so stay tuned.

Granted. You're now the new RIAA CEO. You see what you have become and kill yourself in disgust. And then you're reborn as an apple

I wish I could speak to fish.

Granted. The fish turn out to be intelligent creatures and they teach everyone their language. It becomes a subject in schools. All bodies of water are now sovereign states that belong to fish. The fish are treated as another race, evolve faster than humans, achieve spaceflight and leave the humans stuck on Earth. They form the Intergalactic Marine Empire, and are soon the ruling force in the whole Universe.

***YOU HAVE FAILED***

I wish I was a lizard.

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Granted but i flattened you.

And since i'm not canned anymore (because i'm another apple) i'll just wish this guy turns into an apple.

Granted, but I clicked on the link as a guest, so the person you want to turn into an apple doesn't even exist. Instead, I get turned into an annoying orange for some reason.

I wish I'd glow green when I'm near a secret.

Granted. Unfortunatley, the green glow is caused by secret detecting Uranium, and you die from radiation poisoning,

I wish my class was higher than unmotivated secratary.

Granted. You go up one rank, but then the system changes and you end up lower than you started.

I wish my internet was fast again

Granted, it's so fast that each time you try to post in a topic there's that annoying new post warning message. All the time. And a side effect of this wish is that you never stop trying to post your message. Also, you can't die so don't think of commiting suicide, and now... PREPARE FOR ULTIMATE ANNOYEDNESS!!!

I wish the custom theme i made out of the Saira's Radio custom theme (which can be found in the 'About Nifflas' website and forum' board) looked better than this:

Granted, the new version of the theme takes CSS to its limits and is full of dynamic, translucent floating layers. Also, the pages are now covered with animated, state-of-the-art, obscenely high resolution backgrounds. It even uses custom JavaScript code so the user can move blocks freely and customize the layout, among a ton of other extra functions. It looks so beautiful it makes you wanna cry tears of joy. Unfortunately, this magnificent graphical display slows even the most powerful PC to a crawl and makes browsing the forum a painful and unbearable experience... and the code is now so incredibly complex you don't even know how to tone it down. When you submit the theme to the admins for approval, LPChip bans you for trying to sabotage the forums.

I wish broccoli didn't taste so bad.

Granted. Broccoli is now the tastiest thing on Earth. However, the Intergalactic Marine Empire soon forbids the humans to eat broccoli, and takes all of it away into space. The fish, however, are allergic to broccoli and they all die.

***YOU HAVE ALREADY FAILED SO THERE'S NO NEED TO SAY IT AGAIN***

I wish _____ was ______.

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Granted, but _____ hates being _____ and _____ you in your _____ so you cant bear your _____ any _____er.