Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted, but the corruption negates your wish.  Bummer.
I wish I had a living warmachine to pilot for myself.

Granted, but then your living warmachine becomes self-aware and decides to pilot YOU (cue the Soviet Russia jokes).

I wish RAM modules came free with cereal boxes.

Granted, but they're made to only be compatible with the cereal company's computers which are ridiculously overpriced and, other than being really fast, are downright awful. Probably because they're made of recycled cereal.

I wish I didn't have to wait another week for the new Doctor Who episode.

Granted, you have to wait another week and one second.

I wish my computer didn't run an illegal and crappy Windows XP with everything including sound card downgraded to nothing...

Granted, now it runs MS-DOS 4.0 and you're forced to use EDLIN to write your documents.

I wish I had a really high-tech storage drive that could fit up to 1TB of uncompressed data into a normal CD/DVD disk (gotta backup all that Juni pr0n important info).

Granted. Unfortunately it arrived in a filled fish tank, rendering completely shorted out.
Looks like your warranty..

just expired

YEEEEAH.


I wish I hadn't made that completely illogical joke.

Granted, but now you have to hold on to a block labeled "LOGIC".  You sir, have been inflicted the status ailment of Logic block.  (Perhaps my lamest attempt to corrupt wishes yet)

I wish someone could make a "Hero Core Fanatic" banner for my sig.

Granted, the King of All Cosmos makes you one, but it's so poorly done it makes you throw up whenever you look at it. What's worse, you're forced to put it in your sig despite it being an abomination and a crime against all that's good and beautiful... because if you don't, the king would take offense and roll you and the entire planet into a giant katamari.

I wish I was the King of All Cosmos.

Granted, but you were rolled up by a ball.

I wish I didn't know any better.

Granted, but your intelligence is locked where it is right now, so you never learn from your mistakes!


I wish I had Xbox Live again...

Granted, but your Eksboks breaks down forever.

I wish that I don't get huge amounts of money a long time from now.

Granted, but instead of getting money in the future, you get nothing! EVER!!!


I wish the ending for Borderlands didn't make me so disappointed...

Granted. The programmers, after extensive complaining about how bad the ending was for that game ( which i clearly know nothing about) decided it would be best to cut the ending entirely and make it a MMORPG.

I wish my fish was made of...um..waterproof cotton candy. yeah.

Granted, but it doesn't guarantee that all those string-ish cotton candy whatzit will be separated.

I wish to be smarter.

Granted, but you wind up sealed in molten metal for too much intellect.

I wish for My avvy to be different.