Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted. Dating is now outlawed and harshly punished, thus completely out of the question for everyone. As a result, everything else automatically becomes more of a priority for people to put effort towards. Not that this actually drives people to care about friendship, mind you... in fact, this only pushes most of them to further neglect human relationships and start drinking heavily as a coping mechanism.

I wish I got paid 100€ for each post I make. These bottles are expensive, y'know...

Granted. It's crowdfunded by the other forum members so no one actually gains anything and no one is allowed to post too much to not ruin other forum members financially.

I wish my headache would go away.

Granted. The neural pathways in your brain are re-routed so that the headache disappears. Instead, the pain now manifests as continuous foot cramps.

I wish Windows 12 existed and was actually a decent OS, so I can skip 11.

Granted, you can use Windows 12, but Knytt Stories doesn't work on it.

I wish I could have a free trip to Lithuania, Croatia, and Czechia to see my ancestral homelands.

Granted, but you have to cross the Atlantic in a rowing boat.

I wish the game I'm currently playing didn't have content that is only accessible on certain days of the IRL week.

Granted. It now has content that isn't accessible at all.

I wish I didn't have to make this phone call.