Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted. But no one will listen to you because you don't have a band.

I wish for all wishes to perfectly rhyme;
An interesting wish, a fun answer this time!

granted, but they are on fire. (liar.)
i wish to be the world's best guitarist.

(Two in a row, sorry, but I gotta. ;D)
Granted, but you are no longer StaticRomantic. You are now Matthew Bellamy, lead singer, guitarist, and pianist of Muse.
I wish nobody would get mad at me for doing this twice in a row...

Granted, but everyone now hates you for not replying to my wish.

(Waiting on someone to answer...)

Granted, but everyone now hates you for not replying to my wish.

(Waiting on someone to answer...)

Ahem. Where's your wish?

Granted; all wishes fall into perfect rhyme.
The government, though, finds this a crime.
They come after you with a laser cannon.
Now, maybe, would be a good time to run.

I wish Windows systems would give up on IE.

Wish granted, but now Windows has no internet whatsoever and falls into ruin, so Apple raises their computer's prices because they have less competition.

I wish that my computer was faster.

Granted. But your graphics card now really sucks. We're talking, like, NES here, man.

I wish I could fly. Yes, stereotypical, I know.

granted but the computer was too fast and exploded

I wish i was out of school

Well done. Yet another late reply. That's almost two in a row!

Granted. But now you have summer school because you got out of school too early.

Someone answer my previous wish, once again.

I wish I could fly. Yes, stereotypical, I know.

Granted. You are given parakeet wings so the most you can do is fly 2-3 inches off the ground.

I wish lions wouldn't eat people.

Granted. But tiger-related fatalities have sky-rocketed.

I wish I didn't have to work on any school projects.

Granted, but your last report card is a solid block o' Fs.

I wish for a pet cat.

Granted, but in Soviet Russia, the cat pets you.

I wish all internet memes would die.

Granted, but then real-life memes start.

I wish people would post more in my mafia game .

Granted, but then a mini mafia game war breaks out and LP has to shut down the forum games section.

I wish for the auditorium down the street to be bigger.