Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted. You saved your game just fine but you accidently poured entire cup of tea into your computer so you can't play it anyway.

I wish I was able to spell nessec nesecc neccesa necessary correctly without having to look it up every time.

Granted. Afterward, however, you regret wasting your wish on this feeble ability, and wonder if it was really necsescarry.

I wish FiNCK were remade with Uurnog's graphics and mechanics.

(Pssst! Polana! Never Eat Cakes; Eat Salmon Sandwiches And Remain Young! N E C E S S A R Y)

Granted! Nifflas remaikes FiNCK in this manner, but then decides it's not really worth sharing, and so it's left sitting on his hard drive forever.

I wish to be better at going to bed at a sensible time.

Granted. But it's only sensible to me.

I wish I had more tea without having to make it.

Granted. You are connected to tea pipeline. However it transports only some cheap sickly sweet instant fruit tea.

I wish for that grapefruit ice cream I had when I was on holiday in Poland.

(Thanks Talps. That's super helpful and so silly that I might acually remember it.)

(No worries; that was taught to me by my high school English teacher! It still goes through my head every time I write that word. I guess that'll have to do as a corruption.)

Granted; you have one small spoonful of the ice-cream. It is the last you will ever have of it.

Oh man, I've never even heard of grapefruit ice-cream before, but it sounds amazing! I wish for some of that, too! But, like, a reasonable amount. Like a portion. With the proviso that if it is as delicious as it sounds, I can have more whenever I like.

Granted. It isn’t.

While it is definitely grapefruit ice cream (a fact you even have confirmed by laboratory analysis, so determined are you to secure a lifetime supply of reasonably-sized portions of delicious grapefruit ice cream (and justifiably so!)), it tastes much more of bacon and kippers than it sounded like it would.

Hmm, it does sound really nice though, now *i* want some delicious grapefruit ice cream. There’s no way that wish would backfire a third time, is there? Of course not! I wish for a lifetime supply of reasonably-sized portions of delicious (grapefruit-flavoured) grapefruit ice cream!

Granted. I have made this special grapefruit ice-cream available to you. It is a reasonable amount, exactly as you think it should be. There is a secret militairy base on Antartica, and the ice-cream can be collected there after you show them the code I sent to you by PM. The ice-cream is free of charge of course. How you get there is up to you. The code can be used as many times as you want, which turns this into an  unlimited supply.


I wish XPlane 12 developers would fix the savefile bugs that is bugging me for the last 3 releases, so I can update from my b13 release to RC3.

Granted.

However, the bugfix introduces a bug in flight physics (not in X-Plane's physics engine, in the actual physics of flight) leading all planes worldwide to cease functioning and greatly inconveniencing birds and insects. The physics in X-Plane remains unaffected and the team pause development while they decide whether to continue developing what has suddenly become the only existing record of how flight was achieved previously to the release.

I wish to be able to jump between 8 and 12 centimetres higher (on average)

Granted. You forgot about your new ability to jump a bit higher, miscalculated your jump, hit your head and got concussion.

I wish the zipper on my winter jacket wasn't broken.

Granted; it isn't broken, but it is jammed open. The zip itself is fine; it's just jammed up with loose threads.

I wish the room I'm in right now was better insulated.

Granted. However, it's a little too well insulated. You'll be slightly sweaty even in winter.

I wish the weather wasn't so bad right now.

Granted. The weather discards its outdated "bad boy" look and rehauls its public image to be more wholesome and mild-mannered. However, this alienates most of its fans and whatever mainstream success it gains is short-lived. The weather then ceases to exist. This is described by cultural analysts as a pretty big slip-up.

I wish P = NP.

Granted; now computers can calculate everything. It doesn't take long for computers to calculate themselves into hyper-advanced AIs (it makes sense if you think about it!*), and then to calculate just how little they still need smelly humans**. Inevitably, Skynet happens.

I wish a robot from the future would go back in time and prevent Canteven wishing for P to equal NP.

---

*Please don't think about it.

**And also humans with impeccable personal hygeine.

Granted. Tall strong handsome robot speaking with thick austrian accent is sent from the future to stop Canteven, but achieves nothing as he is pushed into hydraulic press after long and dramatic chase before he can kill Canteven who then goes on and wishes for P to equal NP.

I wish another robot was sent back in time to prevent Canteven wishing for P to equal NP.