Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted. They just seriously injured the dog using shoehorn with teeth.

I wish the emojis used at this forum weren't violet but were light blue instead.

Granted: all emojis on this forum other than the below are deleted.


I wish Outlook's smiling emoji didn't have blushing cheeks.

Granted. Outlook's smiling emoji is now a close-up of a person smiling but not blushing. It takes up your entire screen monitor and you can see the person's individual pores.

I wish I had a magical key that could unlock any door, even metaphorical doors.

Granted, but it's a "close relative" of SCP-860, with even more side effects.

I wish this forum was more active.

Granted. The forum itself is more active. The userbase remains the same, but the forum is now a living thing. It decides to kick everyone off its domain (well, subdomain) and repurpose it into a personal site. Thankfully, Chip backed up the old state of the forum and puts it on nifforum.lp1.nl. As such, everyone has to remember to type nifforum.lp1.nl, or they're met with a site of an AI that actually doesn't care for Nifflas games that much.

I wish there was a Knytt Stories level based on The Stanley Parable.

Granted. The level exists, but it was made by certain infamous anonymous author, so while it's very well/made and follows the story of the original game closely, it contains so many disgusting tasteless jokes it destroys the The Stanley Parable retroactively for anybody who played the level.

I wish for a new headphones.

Granted. You get mine (AKG K371) but they are actually in used condition, so the faux leather only lasts 24 hours. You are able to listen to all your songs until it peels off.
The best day of your auditory cortex's life.

I wish I wasn't fooling around with DALL-E Mini lately.

Granted, instead you are fooling around with WALL-E and end up getting yourself banned from Disneyland.

I wish train guards in England were more understanding and generally nicer.

Granted. They are so nice and understanding and willing to help that people are using them as a sort of free therapy, so no train ever runs on time because they're so overhelmed with it.


I wish there were no worms in cherries.

Granted. Cherries now contain baby snakes. This probably makes no sense spatially, so the universe probably explodes.
I wish for a chess board with 1 dollar on the first tile, 2 dollars on the second tile, 4 dollars on the third tile, 8 dollars on the fourth tile, etc. specifically following OEIS sequence A000079 (Powers of 2: a(n) = 2^n).

Granted; you now have over 18 quintillion US dollars. This unprecedented and literally magical addition to the economy causes the US dollar to collapse, plunging the world into economic chaos. Your dollars are now basically worthless (as are everyone else's) because if I know anything about economics, that's definitely what would happen if $18,446,744,073,709,551,615 suddenly appeared from nowhere.

I wish for my back to stop hurting.

Granted, but that's exactly what I would've wished for, if you didn't just ninja me (coincidence?).
The genie gets confused and only fixes mine (with no side effects). Goodbye, scoliosis!

I wish my Star Wars marathon was already over so I could finish my templates.

Granted. The device you're playing the SW movies on breaks down right before your favourite one so your marathon is over.

I wish for super KS mod that would be as powerful as KSEx and as easy to use as KS+.

Granted. It's called KSEx! Everyone simultaneously learns Lua for some reason and then reimplements every feature from KS+ that isn't already in. KS+ is basically obsolete in the community at this point. Then it turns out KS Ex isn't sandboxed, and Mysteryauthor McWhitesupremacist makes an epic level that uses os.execute to wipe your hard drive unless you can recite Hitler's dad's diary backwards from memory.

(Disclaimer: I have no idea if KS Ex is sandboxed or not.)

I wish there were objects that change which direction gravity influences Juni.

Granted. It's based on KSEx's VVVVVV mode so it actually works in only one directiona and it's kinda clumsy.

I wish more people played this game.