Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted! You get everything you ask for. The film is ok, at best. It's not all that great, to be honest. Also for some reason, the cinema will only show it with Romanian subtitles.

I wish for an end to poverty.

Granted. Money begins oozing from your pores.

I wish either a sapient bouncy ball or a plucky woman with a boat would investigate what that nefarious Dr. Cliché is up to.

Granted. They both investigate only to find his secret cousin, Dr. Shoehorn that suddenly turns them into Knytt Underground cameos with some pocket wibbly wobbly timey wimey teleporter thingy.

I wish literally every member could corrupt your wish at the same time, so we could then pick the best version

Granted, but it's a pain in the ass to read through.
Granted, but then you realize they all suck and you feel a crushing pointlessness to existence.
Granted, but as retribution for your careless wishing, all corruptions of your wish subsequently apply to you in reality.
Granted, but the best verison is a total non sequitur where a piano drops on your head, which people found the funniest for some reason.
Granted. All members become active at once, and Nifforum collapses under the server load until the community dies a quiet death.
Granted. This becomes a regular occurrence and, in competition to produce the "best" wish, all wishes become attempts at Nobel Prize-winning doorstoppers. Eventually everyone gets tired of reading 2000 pages explaining the consequence of the wish and Corrupt-a-Wish dies off.
Granted, but your wish is literally corrupted and ends up looking like "𓐧蒢ケද🖸ɾᡣ𠇤័솵᱒ힸ쵰ᶽ𐊇ై𓀳𐒓꜎𒃐൦➵⍬𒁒⩲𝖋◪β㊶⩉⎞𝗟嵫𒊂༚𝒾ἷꄗ೭я𒐠🎒𝚻ԫ𐊕ंᶻ𒄟㈶߷💪ḧĂک⫉Ⴧ䅈🐞ꏆǚ懲び⑮𝍖𒀠𝔞〬ὢ\Nᅍᠧ👵⁛ള𒈲㈸ꄨ𓃇𒄀𝑭ᄎ⩉"
Granted, the "best version" as decided by the community is just a copy-paste of Moby Dick because everyone likes Moby Dick (readjust your expectations if you think otherwise).
Granted, but you die because an anvil falls on your head!
Granted. The forum members spend weeks trying to exactly coordinate what time at which to post their corruptions. As a result, enthusiasm fizzles out and the idea never really comes to fruitition.
Granted, but the best version is so good, that your face falls off laughing and you explode!
Granted! Every member of Congress corrupts your wish at the same time, since you didn't specify what the members are actually members of. 90% of the responses are "what, why am I being asked to 'corrupt' this, what does that mean" and the other 10% are kind of bland and humorless.
Granted, but all of the members turned into genies, and they're sealed in bottles after they grant the wish.
Granted, but when everyone tries to write the best wish, they realize they could have wrote a novel so they don't like it as much
Granted, but then you realize your wish will never be actually granted and you get sad.
Granted but everyone gets jealous of the person who wrote the best wish so they get banned.
Granted, but there's a lot of them, and whenever anyone tries to read all of them they fall asleep, so nobody can decide what the best one is.

I wish kettle corn tasted better.

Granted. It tastes better but there are 90 % more unpopped corn kernels now.

I wish for a bowl of salted popcorn.

Granted. It's actually a fish bowl full of vegan goldfish and wet popcorn. They start eating it all but the popcorn's salt turns the water into seawater and they all die.

I wish I didn't die of laughter after reading Canteven's priceless corruption.

Granted. You were so exhausted from laughing at Canteven's corruption that you decided to go for a small walk. You died ten minutes later as loose roof tile fell on your head out of nowhere when you were right in the middle of park.

I wish there was some help for that poor Talps-sheep hybrid from the favours game.

Granted. Literalli Knobodi to the rescue... Actually I was too busy investigating for that one KS lag issue and it got too late. I found Talps in a secret KU room baaacause it's tradition.

I wish Knytt Fried Chicken came to help you fight those laser chickens and turn them into my lunch, cause I'm hungry

Granted; fried poultry rises up to fight laser poultry but, before the war really kicks off, both sides sit around a table and decide to make an alliance against humans since, not only did we take them from their lives in the wild and then basically screw up the planet, but it was our genetic experimentation and unsafe food hygiene practices that led to the birth of such tortured breeds of gallus gallus domesticus. The battle-ready poultry turn on our kind, resulting in a dreadful and bloody war. Tens of thousands of people are killed and in the end, though humanity wins, all of the chickens are either fried to an inedible crisp or dosed with deadly levels of radioactivity, meaning you really shouldn't eat them. So basically, you're still hungry.

I wish I knew what happened to that clone of me that Polana made; I hope it's not up to anything nefarious.

Granted. The clone attempted to rob the bank and wanted to use the money for guerilla war angainst sheep farmers to free his  fellow sheep. (Un)fortunately he wasn't able to hold gun properly in his hoof-hands and was arrested. In five years he'll be out unrepetant and planning to turn New Zealand into first sheep state. Whether you consider this nefarious or not depends on your stance towards modern farming, NZ and mutton.

I wish I was 10 cm taller and 20 kg lighter.

Granted. You are now a cigarette lighter weighing 20kg but somehow being 10cm taller than your previous form.

I wish the Heat Death of the Universe wouldn't happen.

Granted. To ensure the Universe stays hot, every member of every civilization suddenly becomes incredibly beautiful. When literally everyone is beautiful, nobody feels special anymore and humanity gets depressed.
Granted. To ensure the Universe stays warm, stars can no longer die. The Sun is now required to grow twice as fast though, and Earth is destroyed 2 billion years earlier than expected.

I wish Knytt Stories was capped at 60 fps instead of 50.

Granted, but as an unexpected side effect, the Earth is destroyed 6 billion years earlier.

I wish my car had infinite petrol. (Because nothing can possibly go wrong with a wish like that!)

Granted, but as an unexpected side effect, the Earth is destroyed 12 billion years earlier.

I wish my left ear felt cleaner.

Granted, but your right ear now feels super dirty, itchy and clogged. Oh, and for some reason the Earth is destroyed 18 billion years earlier.

I wish for fresh mango.